HT Wells

a most excellent and audacious fellow-conspirator

[The Onion @TheOnion]

FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States
https://t.co/sNtmL4Nrxr

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

not to defend the robber barons but Andrew Carnegie, the richest man of his era, gave away 90 percent of his wealth and funded the building of 2,811 libraries, and I’m afraid the current crop of oligarchs isn’t sending their best.

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

As a committed progressive, I am willing to let Donald Trump spend the next four years filling federal courts with religious zealots if it will teach the Democratic Party a lesson.

[ian karmel @IanKarmel]

We have, for too long, shackled the bakery to the morning. Night bakeries. Fresh croissants at 11pm. It is possible.

[I Smoked Lindsey Graham @BlackKnight10k]

Whoever said J.D. Vance's drag name is Ashley Furniture, you won the internet but Elon autorefreshed your tweet into oblivion

[wint @dril]

"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

[Imani Gandy is at BlueSky Now @AngryBlackLady]

Republicans would have hauled everyone into a hearing by now. Democrats are so embarrassing

[HT Wells @harmoniumradio]

Pages before title appears in book [Demon Copperhead]: 13

[pauline kael bot @paulinekaelbot]

What is getting older if it isn’t learning more ways that you’re vulnerable? (1989)

[HT Wells @harmoniumradio]

@onefleshonepod Jesus harrowhark nonagesimus christ

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Cat Placed On 5 Minutes’ Half-Assed Observation After Possibly Ingesting Plastic Thing https://t.co/HwepqOlxns

[❥ 𝑪𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒔 ❥ @tonyhawktruther]

Does anyone know if we have to don our gay apparel tomorrow

[Jairo I. Fúnez-Flores @Jairo_I_Funez]

The Onion 2014 vs. New York Times 2023

[Dan Brooks @DangerBrooks]

Effective altruists, Taylor Swift — a lot of people are realizing that making money is actually one of the most ethical things you can do.

[The Onion @TheOnion]

John Kirby: ‘We Don’t Savor The Death Of Innocent Civilians Lightly’ https://t.co/wPJ2A7jwe2