Teddy Ruins Everything

I am an awesome Great Dane who rules my yard in Da SoutSide of da great city of Chicahgow. Owned by two exhausted humans

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@adamcarolla Why is this mope on the wrong side of the desk?

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@DireNeil85 @greggutfeld Quiet you cunt.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@Ecnerwal23 Every summer driving to O’Hare, Krazy Kaplan’s fireworks and Brian Urlacher has hair

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@HeatherCherone @wttw Kinda like this asinine headline.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@TheRestHistory I just listened to part one of Nelson (2025), and I must say to these lowly Chicagoan’s ears, Tom Holland’s impression of Maria Carolina’s voice was nothing short of magnificent!

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@SenAdamSchiff You truly are trash, Senator.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@JBPritzker Please. You’ve spent your life existing in the rarified air of the billionaire class. You don’t know what the high crime areas of Chicago are like. You mock those that have true concerns about their safety, sporting a bulletproof vest and happily back slapping your media pals

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@JBPritzker Pound sand

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@NickKristof You really should just resign. There’s a position at the Elk Grove Village Pennysaver opening up

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@GovTimWalz 2,600,000 views. 4,100 likes.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@JBPritzker Worry about our state, you’ve spent the last year working your phantom campaign for the White House.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@TheRestHistory I never thought I’d laugh out loud while listening to the demise of the Incas, but you guys did it! So happy this guy from Chicago found your podcast. Absolutely brilliant!!! Signing up as a club member today!

[Red Panda Koala @RedPandaKoala]

Woman records a UAP and notices a strange light in the woods that she describes as a portal with thousands of shadows moving in and around it

She films it

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@JinxOfWV @redsteeze Leeroy Jenkins?

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@mcfc_son @PaigeSpiranac 9500 views, 3 likes

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

From the coolest cat ever

[SGM Mike Vining @ Blasting Through Official @BlastingThrough]

The CIA sent me to Sudan to help the regime beef up their security and train officers in EOD. I used my real name, but I was “Captain” Mike Vining, because they wouldn’t be receptive to an NCO. This is what we call “low visibility” in Delta. I was issued a diplomatic passport.

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@MattWalshBlog “Father, can you remember when you first heard the news….the news of Donna Kelce’s home renovation?”

My child…how could I forget?

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@TheRochaSays That’s it?

[Teddy Ruins Everything @wernerKrimsin]

@WGNNews Oh my!!! Was it a sternly written letter?