William Wheeler

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

Mom: "What are you watching?"
Me: "Football"
Mom: "Who's playing"
Me: "Bears Ravens in a meaningless preseason game but I have to watch cuz I'm an addict"
Mom: "I'm sorry"

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

My “pay” is in options, which only matter if stock goes up & I sell. Will use that to make life multiplanetary, help education & environment on Earth w my foundation. Just don’t want us to be sad about the future. https://t.co/l3YEvjvyuz

[Joe Thomas @joethomas73]

I’m so confident in my @cavs, if the @warriors win the 2018 NBA finals, I’ll buy anyone who retweets this a signed @StephenCurry30 gameworn jersey. Even you @RandallTime. @KingJames https://t.co/zsQp3LxGbu

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 Only took the 9th to blow a 5 run lead last night

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 It's about after Verlander

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 Man with no hope loses additional hope he didn't know he had

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 Sure but it's you so

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 Expected you to flip shit

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

Chukwu hitting 3 FT in a row is the most unlikely thing I've seen since Tom Savage converted 4th and 20

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

First four has 66% of the same letters as final four so we're like two-thirds of the way there right?

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@NMcGowanJ @MattReil21 Like most cowboys fans Matt Reil does not reside in Dallas

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

The best part of all this will be when the Eagles are introduced as SB Champs at the Draft.

In Dallas.

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

Somewhere, an ESPN producer who's already cut a five-minute "James Harrison playing against the Steelers in the AFCC" piece is kicking holes in his living room wall.

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

The best possible scenario for the Texans game is Bane showing up and ruining Christmas by destroying the field again

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

Lavar Ball on CNN may be the greatest interview I've seen

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

James Harden tonight 56 points on 19/25, 7/8 from 3, 13 assists. Gonna lock up that runner up MVP.

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

I legit don't think the Texans could beat the Browns right now

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

22 years a Houston team won a championship. Tearing up right now.

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

@MattReil21 Dude seriously right now Imma need you to stop

[William Wheeler @wewheeler]

It's been 4 innings. Its felt like 4 days.