Hazel

29. Writer/editor. She/her. Chronically going through it.

[Hazel @whichhaz]

That’s MRS. Bitch to you

[Hazel @whichhaz]

@doubleveenus Just celebrated 12 years together. In the early days, we were finishing college & we gave each other the time/space to do what we needed for our careers/futures. Had to do long distance a couple times but it was worth it so we could each flourish as individuals.

[san alejo⚜️ @lumoglo]

How fems feel after building a nightstand from ikea

[Hazel @whichhaz]

And yet somehow we managed and still have the legal docs to prove it 💅

[Global UPDATES @GlobalUpdates24]

🇻🇦 BREAKING –

Pope Leo XIV says, "Marriage is only possible between a man and a woman"

[Hazel @whichhaz]

This is the one pet name that Sammie reserves for just me and every time she says it in front of others I get so smug. Yes this incredible human is in love with ME, and NONE of you will ever be her love. Die jealous 😌💅

[messages. @_mymsgs]

being called “my love” is the cutest thing, like yes that’s me. im the one you love. im the only one you love. im your love. say it again

[Hazel @whichhaz]

I was bitching that the peppers in my burrito bowl were way too big and my wife earnestly offered to go get the kitchen scissors to cut them up for me. What did I do to deserve this woman’s love 😭 I’m so serious, I do not get it

[zoë rose bryant @zoerosebryant]

robert pattinson could’ve played all four beatles

[Hazel @whichhaz]

Twitter is fun because you can see the exact number of people who looked at your selfie versus the number of likes it received and it is never not devastating lmao

[Hazel @whichhaz]

“If you don’t laugh, you’ll cry.”
Bitch I do both. Frequently and enthusiastically. The fuck

[Robert Pattinson's Penn*s! @robertspennis]

Rob being weird again is one of the biblical signs that everything is going to be okay

[Hazel @whichhaz]

#NewProfilePic

[Hazel @whichhaz]

Holy fuck I turn 30 tomorrow

[lis @simplytomh]

my favorite part of the superbowl was when the lesbians killed all the players

[Hazel @whichhaz]

I don’t think I’ll feel true happiness again until Phoebe Bridgers drops another solo album

[Marlow Stern @MarlowNYC]

with martin short thrown over her shoulder no less

[Hazel @whichhaz]

This is my wife right before we go to sleep every night: yap yap yap yap BIG YAWN yap yap BIG YAWN yap yap yap “don’t forget [scheduled event]” BIG YAWN yap yap yap
And me: “this yap could’ve been an email”

[Hazel @whichhaz]

My Letterboxd must think I’ve ghosted it since I haven’t written a review in like a month but the real reason is much worse: I just can’t stop watching Arcane