no

[Billie @Billie_T]

Gabriel missing a pen is the best possible ending to this fucking shit season. Hold that

[Central @WestHam_Central]

RT IF YOU SUPPORT A LONDON CLUB AND HAVE WON A EUROPEAN TROPHY

[la nea elegante @laneaelegante]

Increíble que ahora todo hace daño, que el aceite, que la leche, que bañarse todos los días, que dormir del lado derecho, todo es malo excepto trabajar 8 horas al día, 5 días a la semana. Eso sigue siendo buenísimo.

[Jake. @YedIin]

Kinsky bro we ain’t seen a redemption arc like this since Jesus was resurrected

[Tottenham Tiers @TottenhamTiers]

Incredible. #Tottenham secure Premier League safety on the final day.

Credit to Roberto De Zerbi for dragging this depleted squad over the line. But this isn’t success, and it can’t erase who put us here.

Vinai Venkatesham and Johan Lange MUST resign & ENIC MUST go.

[Paul O Keefe @pokeefe1]

Overwhelming sense of relief not jubilation. A disgraceful season that can't be forgotten just because they got away with it. Totally unacceptable and heads must roll this summer amongst the hierarchy. This can never happen again.

[Micah Erfan @micah_erfan]

Fun Fact: The war in Iran costs us more in one hour than this program costs in a year.

[Michael (Hedge Fund Manager) @HedgeFundFomo]

When my son was born, I put $500 into his brokerage account

Every month, I add $250.

By the time he's 18, he will have just $150 because I am an extremely bad investor

I hope he gets himself a lucrative job when the time comes

[Florence Lox 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 @floboflo]

If Keir Starmer goes against the will of the British people and takes us back into Europe then I am done with this country and joining my parents in Spain!
Disgusting!!!!

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

Me: *drinking from a soggy straw to save the planet*

World leaders:

[Rupert Myers @RupertMyers]

If people in Dubai didn’t want to pay UK taxes why should UK resources now come to their aid

[Kylie @KylieHopkinsX]

Got paid yesterday. Paid my bills and
outstanding debts. Broke again within
an hour. Amazing! Adulting is just
amazing!

[Leighton Town FC @LeightonTownFC]

74’ BJ ON VALENTINES DAY! 😍

🔵 𝙈𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙤𝙬 1️⃣ - 4️⃣ 𝙇𝙚𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙤𝙣 🔴

[herculez gomez @herculezg]

All ball. .

[mariana Z @mariana057]

My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead.. she’s at the ER now and her face is all swollen and bruised.

She almost died.

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.

[The Purple Pimpernel @Eyeswideopen69]

It was your fucking policy!

[tom 🎸 @uncreativetom]

frozen rail fares update

[Gwart @GwartyGwart]

Flight attendant comes over intercom: “your flight is oversold, I need two volunteers to take a flight this afternoon for a $300 voucher.”

I spring into action. I was born for these moments. This is why I studied game theory. Literal tingles. I pull out my megaphone and address our boarding gate: “guys, they absolutely must off board at least two passengers or this bird isn’t taking off. Every 3 minutes they will increase their bid by $200. If we all hold out for 45 more minutes, 2 of us can make nearly 5 grand each. Textbook prisoners dilemma, this is (3,3) in its most visceral representation. I’m not even going to give up my ticket but I know value when I see value. Let’s make Nash proud ladies and gentlemen. Do not acquiesce. Do not defect.”

Anyhow 2 people immediately accepted $500 and I called them retards on my megaphone and was placed in a detention room by airport police. This is why we study game theory.

[talisman @TheRaul20]

The angle of the kane goal