Will Silverstein

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

This incredibly sincere white guy trying Indian food for the very first time and having his mind blown is so wholesome

[SPIDERCRAWLING @SPIDERCRAWLING]

If I was a waiter I’d say stuff like
“Alright and who ordered the smile 😀”

[Kevlar @CEOofSludge]

i got beans on the stove and you think i care about what jehovah witnessed

[toxic king @toxicking]

Shawty workin at McDonalds talkin bout “ I’m in my bag 💅🏼” ok well, make sure everything is in mine

[Sesame Chiccen @Loccdawggg]

She didn’t even “hoffhoffhoff” on that hot ass chicken. Call the avengers

[𝐒𝐢𝐦✞✞✞ @WhoTFissim]

Trying not to bother someone that you really like be so hard 😭😂 like can you please call me

[toxic king @toxicking]

She be beautiful til she order a BEER, like okay handsome I see you.

[Nieltown @nieltown]

You can be a silly billy or you can be a Serious William. Up to you

[Jersey Jerry @Jerrythekid21]

Ciara Should give Future another chance.

[Gary Goodridge @garyhgoodridge]

You must find the courage to leave the table if respect is no longer being served, Know Your Worth!

[grillpill @grillpill_]

your honor my client could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

[alex @haneswhitetee]

the gas station cashier at 12:40 am

[coolgirlonline @coolgirl0nline]

no “doctor” is gonna stop me from drinking the pirates of the caribbean ride water

[Rachel @femaleredhead]

oh your boyfriend’s a doctor? well my boyfriend is now the coach of an imaginary football team for the next 4 months

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

TSA:

Girl: sorry I have my nipples pierced

TSA: ma’am the metal detector didn’t even go off-

Girl: it didn’t even hurt as much as you’d think honestly

[Stanley Earl. @Gluvvvvvv]

dey said ohhhhhh LMAOOO