Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

You stupid fucking idiots.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Bring back quaaludes, you fucking cowards.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

How it feels to pour this Diet Coke into a glass instead of chugging it out of the 2 liter

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Girl, you aren’t sad. You just needed to smoke a j, eat a Caesar, and drink a Diet Coke while watching The Righteous Gemstones

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@BarackObama Miss having a president that could read.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@ABQBearsGrl89 I literally do not believe it. I smell a rat.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

My favorite American tradition is paying $400/mo for health insurance, going to an in-network hospital and then receiving bills for thousands of dollars because NONE OF THE DOCTORS IN YOUR IN-NETWORK HOSPITAL ARE IN YOUR NETWORK WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@selinameyersgf Jesus Christ I miss this show so much.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Bitch, put down that protein water and eat a rotisserie chicken. Da fuck.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, but it’s really not sitting right with me that no doctor has ever asked me about my poops. I feel like that’s an important medical question. If I were a doctor, I’d be like, “How are you? When is the last time you dropped a deuce?”

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Couldn’t be me. I’d be like, take me to the team dentist and give me the works.

[MLB @MLB]

The kid got what he wanted!

Esmerlyn Valdez traded a signed bat and hat for his home run ball 👀

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

I wasn’t in the weeds today. I was in the jungles of Vietnam and the year was 1968.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@TheCinesthetic

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Wishing all the housewives a well regulated nervous system.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Just a friendly reminder, I don’t even make $200k per year at my restaurant job that I go to 50 hours a week, 5 days per week plus the administrative work that I do at my house on my days off. If I’m not properly compensated, I will run for congress where I will do very little.

[Rep. Jack Kimble @RepJackKimble]

Just a friendly warning. We don’t even make $200k per year in Congress despite working nearly 140 days. If we aren’t properly compensated, a lot of us will go to the private sector and you will be left with some real idiots in Congress.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

Kids just aren’t having their birthday parties at McDonalds like they used to

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

I’m too stoned to take the panties off any more of these Reese’s miniatures.

[Jatin Chhugani @JatinChhugani]

Never been a big baseball guy but knowing that hot dogs take years off your life makes me wanna become one

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

It’s still insane that Carrie Coon never even got an Emmy nomination for The Leftovers. Nora Durst is one of the richest, most emotionally devastating performances television produced in the 2010s and awards season somehow completely ignored it.

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@TheCinesthetic Allison Janney deserved an Emmy for her role in The Diplomat

[Dirty Mike🤌 and the boys👯‍♂️ @willab86]

@letterboxd Any disaster movie and also The Big Short