Will Man

Wordsmith. Soundsmith. Willsmith.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Smurfs who enjoy gardening have a turquoise thumb.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

“I slept like an angel” might explain why my guardian angel never saves me.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

It’s been 5 YEARS but I’ve finally got a pic to go with this tweet.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

"Honestly, you need me because you smell like ass." - Frank incense.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

People often mention how George W. Bush was a cheerleader. But no one ever mentions how he was a chill leader.

(I'll get my coat.)

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Did Elaine Benes write this!??

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Wow, this new Nine Inch Nails tour ad looks terrible:

[Will Man @willyoungman]

'I was always ahead of the curve when it came to nostalgia.'

This is legitimately a thought I've had.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Tyler Perry doesn't say "My bad." He says "Madea culpa."

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Frodo Baggins was supreme at ladder climb in P.E. He was lord of the rungs.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Surely a carpenter's son would know how to handle wood.

Catholic priest stuns worshippers by telling them Christ had erection https://t.co/2Jd1jG74QA via @MailOnline

[Will Man @willyoungman]

@Laura_e_london Hi Laura, I'm just curious about what happened to Nell Health as the link has become defunct. Did the company get dissolved, acquired... and if so did you fare well out of it and is there anything else on the pipeline?

[Will Man @willyoungman]

@SteveBugeja Greg James was in my year. I then went to @BSCollege - with @TheHitch who you might've met on the circuit.

I used to do a bit of stand-up too in fact, but I'm not into it anymore. I still like writing jokes though, especially cracks reacting to topical stories - I find that fun.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

@SteveBugeja Did you go to TBSHS? Their Twitter account says you're a former pupil?? I was there until the early 2000s (I went to a different 6th form).

[Will Man @willyoungman]

@DocAtCDI Eyeliner, lashes. Contouring.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

That scene in Innerspace where Robert Picardo is trying to sound like Martin Short as Jack Putter trying to sound like The Cowboy. I bet it made his head spin.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Is it weird my AI girlfriend keeps her cereal in the fridge?

https://t.co/ahYKB6l1qx

[Will Man @willyoungman]

I wanna see that part of the Adam & Eve parable that explains to us why Linden trees smell like man's cum, and why the bins in girls' toilets smell like menstrual blood.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

Your coolness rating will increase 100 points by having an umlaut in place of the accent on your 'Pokémon' tattoo.

[Will Man @willyoungman]

She is a bit tone-deaf, always on banging on about truffles on Instagram. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Martha Stewart branded 'tone deaf' after using 'iceberg' in cocktail https://t.co/qht2tRJ1Rk via @Femail

[Will Man @willyoungman]

On my deathbed I'm going to think of something really intelligent and meaningful to become my famous last words. Something like "It's just a prank, bro."