s*d

eyy

[s*d @wisest_jester]

im deleting my account

[s*d @wisest_jester]

@nikaroxanne but in the event that he does will attempt to browbeat the waiter into accepting it at the end of the meal!!

[s*d @wisest_jester]

why do I take food & drink pictures like a divorced 58 year old who is estranged from his adult children and lives in a carpeted apartment

[s*d @wisest_jester]

@A24 : I would like to see this made into a major motion picture. thank you

[s*d @wisest_jester]

good morning thirls girls goblins & ghouls!

[s*d @wisest_jester]

get his ass!!!

[s*d @wisest_jester]

a performance art piece where I forget that I have twitter for 2 months then log back on specifically to make an offensive and unoriginal joke

[s*d @wisest_jester]

so... is there a Mister Carriage? 😏

[s*d @wisest_jester]

burned my toast making this

[s*d @wisest_jester]

i cant wait to be old and unironically say this about the most deranged shit

[Meat Boy @god_brane]

her: so what are some of your interests?

me: well i like to laugh (looking down and giggling shyly) i enjoy nature (i hold my finger out and a butterfly softly perches on it) and i love magic.. (i twirl and transform into a guy an inch taller)

her: 👩🏻‍🦳🤳🏻ya mom, he’s.. perfect

[s*d @wisest_jester]

me & my bitches watching Jumanji (1995)

[s*d @wisest_jester]

@mommy__vlog had this exact experience last week with a gecko

[s*d @wisest_jester]

one thing about me is im always gonna be putting a grass stalk in my mouth

[s*d @wisest_jester]

@GregAbbott_TX shameless but at least you're consistent

[s*d @wisest_jester]

who up slaying thine wyrm

[s*d @wisest_jester]

@ButtNuttington i do it all for u (and the neighborhood toads)

[s*d @wisest_jester]

wondered why my mint was so trampled & the soil by my pepper plants kept getting dug up. turns out the neighborhood toads wait for me to leave the hose running & throw a root mud jacuzzi rager

[s*d @wisest_jester]

there's literally no way I can try to complain about how my zodiac sign is always memed into "materialistic slut" without massively dunking on myself

[ً @4everIost]

do milfs even leave apple pies on their window sills anymore