wizard critter

what is your favorite wizard swear? i think i really like fuck. she/her. i can do magic i promise you can trust me im just a little guy

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

time for my signature spell! its called "hit you with a big stick"
*hits you repeatedly with a big stick*
FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFICKYOUFUCKYOU

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

A little pixie just flew into my mouth

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

i thought i saw a mimic earlier but it turned out to just be my least favorite rock upside down and ive never bothered to see the underside of the stupid thing

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

there's a rumbling from deep within the dark twisting labyrinth cry unintelligible to the ears yet meaningful to the heart. a dark desire twisted and warped through desire and fate. a silent and deafening chorus of yearning it forever screams "little ceasers hot and ready 6.79"

[ca license plates @ca_dmv_bot2]

Customer: I PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT, MY RACE IN GAME IS GNOME. GNOMER 1
DMV: GNOMER CAN BE A WORD MEANING UGLY PIECE OF SHIT

Verdict: ACCEPTED

[we @kanwetwitty]

saturday night and we in the spot! Dont believe me just watch !HEy!! [starts doing a really shitty annoying dance that pisses you off]

[Bimble the Wizard @BimbleWizard]

One quick reminder: wizards do not tolerate fascists. We're beings of chaos and mischief, not division and hate. Keep that shit out of here

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

the wizard never got back to me on that scroll but I managed to find one of my own!

[Mr. Gingles @GinglesMr]

apology for poor english

when were you when the wizar dies?

i was sat at home eating gnome paste when pjotr ring

‘wizar is kill’

‘no’

[Westor Lowbrood, Dungeon Boss @WestorLowbrood]

Kobold sorcerer: ESTROGEN BLAST!!!! *shoots you*

[Ballzack the Wizard @Mrwizeerd]

I attempt kind deeds such as charity, but every time I leave cat food out for the strays, I return to find whole sqaubble of Kobolds and Goblins scarfing all the dry food down....

I think the felines may be in on this...

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

not my ass stumbling into kobold twitter

[gnomecliff @Gnomecliff]

The whole shaft and ball reveal at 2k

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

@wizardsextape if you die can i have your magic scroll that plays "hooked on a feeling" by blue swede somewhere in the world at a low but noticable volume?

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

not really an "incident" or a crypt" per say but once i went to a 97 year old diner that still makes coke the old fashioned way and asked if they could make it normal and got beaten to death. i survived don't worry

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

What was the “incident” at your ancient crypt?

[Kobold Shop @koboldshop]

Replace the first word in the title of your favourite video game with "Kobold"

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

old college roommate of mine he lives in Kissimmee now

[Slice0pie1 @slice0pie1]

In Florida rn and there’s a crazy wizard character with an orb… ermmmm, what the deuce?

[The Wizard @wizardsextape]

Wizards can we turn this guy into a foul newt 👇

[wizard critter @wizcrit]

back when i lived in my old warren me and the boys would play strip poker but since we never really wore clothes to start with it turned into seeing who could come in wearing the most amount of clothes possible. i held the record with 35 strips of burlap

[DEAD WIZARD @IAmARealMage]

“░L░I░N░K░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░” link to what. What arcane secrets do you hide from me. YOU CANT HIDE IT FOREVER