Walker Marema

How am I supposed to write a biography in less than 160 characters?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

@AirbnbHelp

Your website is down. Please and thank you!

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Lol. Yeah right.

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

@DisneyPlus, the trailer for a Quiet Place II is actually supposed to have sound...
Are you trying to make me lose my mind?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Can you imagine being the first guy who called it the "fridge."

It was probably just a regular day for him or her...

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Anybody else wonder what happens when you open up a thing of microwave popcorn BEFORE you put it in the microwave?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Remember when all you had to do to be a democrat was to not totally hate the Day After Tomorrow?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Two scenarios:
Either:
A) Howie Mandel actually knows every single model personally and can tell when they're swapped out/trade places
OR
B) They have to somehow cut the filming and tell Howie the name of the model after the contestant picks the case.

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

So what is up with Howie Mandel knowing every single model's name without fail on Deal or No Deal?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

It's times like these I'm glad James Cameron is around to...um...
He's around to um....
James Cameron...um....
Wait....what?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Anybody else make the emoji face they're typing whilst typing it?
💀

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

@Mr_Toenails I disagree. I wouldn't be able to talk about more than one dog dick (dog dicks) around it, lest I risk people thinking I'm referring to things that belong to the dog.

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Just heard this announcement at a Walgreen's:

"Dental Department"

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Cold open:
"The water is that way."
Roll credits

$78 billion budget
$780 billion opening weekend

James Cameron runs for president and beats Hillary. She wasn't even running....

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

@GrahamMarema All Checked Out Ok: The Norris Bulleting Police Blog Scandal

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

@GrahamMarema 'I woke up that morning just like any other day. Flipped open the Norris Bulletin and I literally put it down and said to myself "This time, they've gone too far'"

Cut to a decently (but only slightly better than a cable show) edited slideshow of grainy newspapers and blue/red

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Anybody else think this guy from lord of the rings looks just like @matt_vfl?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Someone....extended this thing?

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

What in the fuck does this mean????

[Walker Marema @wmarema]

Whenever I'm feeling a little down, I just remember that "heart" rhymes with "fart" and I feel a little better.