patron saint of girls

fruit flies like a banana

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

@AuntieAnnes you have 24 hours to respond

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

Hello one of your New York City locations has been consistently scamming people and I just got conned into paying $20 for a small cup of pretzel bites and a regular sized lemonade @AuntieAnnes

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

My entire twitter has just become me occasionally logging in to get into contact with a business

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

your chat is closed, why is my tide black? @tide

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

I love telling people I’ve had 6 long term relationships and having the person go “6?! How did you have time to heal between heartbreaks?!” And it’s like babe who said anything about healing

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

Once got dumped and the cited reason was because I am “a huge hater.” Too bad it didn’t work out because it seemed like they really understood my whole schtick

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

If you met your significant other before the age of 25 I don’t want to hear your dating advice. It’s useless to me

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

@garykluverbusey The hair clump tells me what to type

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

NO DONT TOUCH THAT it’s my emotional support clump of hair I’ve stuck to my shower wall

[patron saint of girls @wokeboard]

People will swear they give amazing advice meanwhile the advice they give is like “don’t forget to protect your energy 💕”

[athena @myrthena]

"i drew this at 15" what i drew at 15 is between me and god only

[sarah hagi @KindaHagi]

i hate when i’m playing a video game and i have to play as an ugly man instead of a beautiful woman

[christain🍕 @boyruminating]

marry me and receive my dowry: instagram follows from 8-10 of my closest friends

[• @q07lk34ggpc7f2o]

good morning angel i’ve left two mcdonalds hashbrowns in your enclosure