Brilliant!
“Trump, the peacemaker.” - Jonathan Pie
“Back to you, Sophie.
Thank you. It's interesting, isn't it, that Trump signed this deal in Versailles, you know, the location of another famous humiliating, total capitulation. But you know, of course, Trump will spin this as a massive success because he's got form in declaring he's won when clearly he hasn't.
But this war was a success in the same way that paying $14 million to have large chunks of blue paint floating in an algae-infested reflecting pool was money well spent.
The truth is, the United States has rarely looked weaker, and Iran has rarely looked stronger, having now worked out that if anyone doesn't do exactly what they want them to, they'll just close the Strait of Hormuz, and they've got the whole world by the bullbags.
We went from week one: "I will win. Victory will be easier than that time I kidnapped the president of Venezuela."
To week two: "I won."
To week three: "Why aren't you helping me win?"
To week four: "I don't need your help to win, but if you don't help me win, I'm going to destroy NATO."
Week five: "If you don't let me win, I'll annihilate an entire civilization."
It's quite a feat to give the Iranian regime the moral high ground, but luckily, Donald Trump shattered the illusion of American morality a long time ago.
Week six: "We're winning, and to prove it, here's an AI picture of me dressed as Jesus.”
Week seven: "The Pope is a soy-filled, woke, Guardian reader."
Week eight: "I'm getting bored now."
Weeks nine through to 14: "Really bored now, and I've got ballrooms to build and cage fights on the White House lawn to organise."
And four months later, victory!
Thank you very much, where's my peace prize?
And if the rest of the G7 can just clear up the mess and pay the bill, that would be great.
The outcome was always inevitable, but you know, it's been fun to watch.
Most of Trump's posts on Truth Social around the conflict have sounded less like the leader of the free world and more like a 14-year-old boy who's the only one left in the class not to have fingered anyone.
One particular highlight being on Easter Sunday, when Trump went on to Truth Social to write, "Open the fucking strait, you crazy bastards."
Which are the words of a true diplomat with supreme control of the situation.
He then spent some time at the White House Easter Egg Roll, where he gave a speech to a bunch of bemused primary school children about how he's thinking of starting World War III in Iran and Joe Biden's auto-pen.
But this conflict hasn't all been plain sailing. Trump got really angry with the UK, and Spain, and Canada, Australia, Italy—in fact, anyone who raised any objections to this gross example of imperial overreach was branded a coward.
It was as if he felt like we should all be grateful that his latest piece of American expansionism didn't involve making Canada the 51st state or carpet bombing the sleepy village of Greenland.
Perhaps if you want your allies to be good allies, then maybe start treating us like allies. Don't bully your allies, or slam illegal tariffs on your allies, or interfere with their elections by overtly promoting far-right parties across Europe whilst hurling insults at our leaders and threatening to invade Allied sovereign territory, and then demand we come to your aid just because you started a war because one, Benjamin Netanyahu told you to, and two, to distract from the fact that you appear in the Epstein files more times than Jesus is mentioned in the Bible.
But at least someone did all right out of this whole thing. Well, for me, the highlight of the whole shit show was the $2.1 billion in bets placed minutes before presidential announcements about the war in Iran.
1/2
🧵"Desidero che la Papamobile venga trasformata in una clinica mobile e donata ai bambini di Gaza"
Questa è una delle ultime volontà di Papa Francesco prima di morire.
Ad eseguire la disposizione di Papa Francesco, il Vaticano incarica il cardinale svedese Anders Arborelius che a sua volta incarica la Caritas svedese per la trasformazione del veicolo.
Quando la stampa dà la notizia dell'incarico alla Caritas svedese di trasformare la Papamobile in clinica mobile per i bambini di Gaza, scatta la solidarietà dei cittadini svedesi che in pochi giorni inviano alla Caritas cospicue donazioni.
Grazie alle somme raccolte, la Caritas, non solo riesce a trasformare la Papamobile in una clinica mobile fornita di attrezzature mediche di ultima generazione, ma acquista altre 12 ambulanze da inviare a Gaza.
A novembre dello scorso anno, quando i lavori sulla Papamobile sono ultimati, per celebrare l'evento e assolvere all'ultima volontà di Papa Francesco, il Vaticano sceglie Betlemme, la città simbolo per eccellenza della cristianità, la città dove nacque Cristo.
In Piazza della Mangiatoia, il cardinale Anders Arborelius benedice la Papamobile e le ambulanze in partenza verso Gaza.
La Papamobile viene rinominata "Veicolo della Speranza".
Passano giorni, settimane e poi mesi ma gli occupanti israeliani non consentono alla Caritas di fare entrare il Veicolo della Speranza a Gaza.
I rappresentanti del Vaticano e della Caritas chiedono più volte spiegazioni ma Israele si prende gioco di loro inventando storie assurde.
"Non è pervenuta alcuna richiesta di autorizzazione"
E poi ancora: "I materiali sanitari all'interno della Papamobile potrebbero finire nelle mani di Hamas ed essere usati come armi".
E intanto la Papamobile, trasformata in un gioiello della tecnologia medica, in grado di curare 200 bambini al giorno, è ancora lì, dopo sette mesi, sotto una teca in un parcheggio a pochi metri da Piazza della Mangiatoia in attesa di raggiungere i bambini di Gaza.
In uno stupendo articolo scritto dal cardinale Arborelius su ICN, Independent Catholic News (*link nel primo commento) il cardinale si rivolge alle autorità israeliane, chiede, quasi supplica, di lasciare entrare il Veicolo della Speranza ma non rinuncia a scrivere: "Negare le cure mediche ai bambini significa oltrepassare un limite morale che dovrebbe turbare tutti".
Limite morale che non turba i leader politici occidentali che ostentano senza ritegno la loro fede cristiana ma restano in un vile silenzio mentre la colonia di plastica denominata Israele umilia il Vaticano prendendosi gioco delle ultime volontà di un Papa.
Che schifo!
@huskylover81 Why are they not PROVIDING said alleged evidence to defense counsel? This could be resolved much more expeditiously if Tyler’s counsel can show him it’ll be a slam dunk at trial. Better to strike a deal now if there’s indisputable evidence. Maybe insufficient evidence??!!
@susilee_dean@grok@gregtaniguchi@AvaGrace9211 It happened in 2005, more than 20 years ago. She is now an adult and has apparently legally changed her name so as to maintain her privacy.
@RonSau5n@BasedMikeLee Vigilante justice? So you don’t support adherence to the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights? What country are you from? Or are you a bot?
@jeffb741987@Whynot1918@RealCandaceO Without the publicity Candace is generating, the truth would not likely come out. She’s helping people step forward with receipts.