wonkika

super adorable but also a raging drunk

[wonkika @wonkika]

If Eric had a general understanding of ASL we could all avoided so much childhood trauma

[wonkika @wonkika]

The only reason I hate Thanksgiving is because my in-laws get mad every time I spill my wine all over catan and/or hit on that uncle

[wonkika @wonkika]

Use the force, America
#nokings #NoKingsOct18 #NoKingsDayOct18th

[wonkika @wonkika]

@LoveSongs4Peace Maroon bells is in Aspen...nowhere close to RMNP

[wonkika @wonkika]

If I could just learned how to enter every room like dolly levi enters the harmonium gardens I might have had a chance

[wonkika @wonkika]

Me: everything in this world comes at a price
My four year old: is it ice cream?!?
Me: ...actually, yes...

[wonkika @wonkika]

@BorderStates hey so one of your guys blocked my car in (the silver one in the first pic) but after I got out, a few hours later I guess some other people took revenge for me...

[wonkika @wonkika]

@BorderStates hey so one of your guys blocked my car in (the silver one in the first pic) but after I got out, a few hours later I guess some other people took revenge for me...

[wonkika @wonkika]

I was 20 years old for ten years and I've been in my 50s ever since.

[wonkika @wonkika]

Let's bring back vine

[wonkika @wonkika]

When your hair looks so good your husband doesn’t even give you a compliment he just tells you to take a pregnancy test immediately

[wonkika @wonkika]

@Austin802517681 @Phant0mp0wer @SarahisCensored @krassenstein Would it be in infridge-ment-y if I suggested that you not bear semi automatic arms? 😬 I support the second amendment but I think it was written in reference to a different kind of fire arm…

[wonkika @wonkika]

@SarahisCensored @krassenstein Here’s a fun game: say what you just said, but to the founding fathers… like, the original Americans who rose up against their government because they felt powerless and under represented. Go home honey, your opinions are gross.

[wonkika @wonkika]

In case any one is still listening, y’all suck and also y’all clearly aren’t listening. Do better. Show up. Bring snacks.

[wonkika @wonkika]

Maybe instead of a cryptic, self deprecating status update about how you have no friends, just call me to go to lunch sometime. Worth a try, right?

[wonkika @wonkika]

Alexa, stop showing advertisements for therapists every time my Hulu goes to commercial.

[wonkika @wonkika]

Keep sweet and pray… and don’t post a black square cuz they gonna put you on a list, especially if you’re of childbearing age…

[wonkika @wonkika]

Today I was a waitress again for the first time in 8 mo, & when a 24(f) coworker asked me what it was like getting back into it, I said, “oh, just like riding a horse!”
So apparently 8 months is actually 80 years, I forgot bikes existed & I have to find a new job

[wonkika @wonkika]

My mom keeps saying I have great skin… so, yah, things are going pretty well for me right now

[wonkika @wonkika]

Finally my nails tore off, so now I can type