Mike Tython

It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me- Batman

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

What exactly are you “just saying”

[TED Talks @colored_tv]

Nobody’s ever been stabbed at a swim meet just saying

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

You literally cannot convince me that Finding Nemo was based on a true story

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

How am I supposed to watch the Timberwolves versus the Nuggets, when the weatherman keeps interrupting talking about a “tornado on the ground”?

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

When the owner of the 7/11 tells your the pizza is mid, that’s a good reason to not get it

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

The bee movie is one of the movies that you can watch a million times, and you never understand the ending.

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

@colored_tv We talking about 4/20 or 9/11?

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

The one downside of driving a stick shift is that you don’t have a free hand to put on your passengers thigh. I’d never do that to my bros.

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Leaving a yelp review on a strip club is wild 💀

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

I wonder if the government ever spies on someone because they’re a pretty chill guy.

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

@colored_tv I bet that couch is under pressure right now

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

I wish the world showcased the Special Olympics the same way we do with the Summer/Winter Olympics.

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Potholes are gonna be going crazy this week

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

@colored_tv “It’s Jews and Taxes I can tell”

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Me after finding a zyn can in my coat pocket from 2 months ago

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Why does everyone buy bread and milk before it snows. What are they making, milk sandwiches?

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Alright… snow more weather jokes for me

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

Imagine being a illegal alien hearing that your town is getting 6 inches of ice on Saturday

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

I bet all this Ice hitting the south is scaring a lot of illegal immigrants

[Mike Tython @woopigitis]

All this snow talk is getting me horny

[Harvey King @Harvey_K_1111]

Dave Chappelle 🤣🤣🤣 one way or another, we are going to get that oil.