when im topping its almost always in a service/sub top kinda way. i will often put my own pleasure aside to make sure my partner is satisfied & only when they’re happy will i be able to get off. i truly drool at the idea of taking care of my partner above my own needs & wants
the issue w the term gold star lesbian is that it creates a hierarchy within the community where women who previously felt like they had to have relationships with men are put down and viewed as less than. it’s not insecure or lesbophobic to ask you to treat ppl with decency