Jordan

All the things I shouldn't say, youll find here. If you need me, check the garage.

[Blake Anderson @UncleBlazer]

My friend was like you gotta choose between Pringles and Sun Chips and I chose to leave that friendship.

[Houstorian @Houstorian]

Hey @Astros, it's HOU, never that cheap Austin rip-off HTX. #HOU

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

When someone asks if they should bring their Aggie ring to Chilifest

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@OlsenPA_Rick la grange by ZZ Top! #rickhits

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

OH: "Idk how I'm going to find a real job when I can't color all day"

[Texts From Last Night @TFLN]

(330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@theranchriders seeking out dates on Twitter?

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

Yo @lildickytweets, when can a playa expect you to be in Austin or Houston?

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

This @netflix show Easy hits home with all these episodes.

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

Time for this CB to kick rocks. Title in hand, PM for info https://t.co/EtXDWzWtfA

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

If you don't know the difference between break and brake, swipe left

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@theranchriders play on* words. You should have put beets on your head

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@theranchriders beets. It's beets.

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

I should have become a defense attorney and changed my name to Scot Free

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

"Do you think that lady is just a prostitute or is she also a hooker?"

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

What domestics do you have? "Coors and coors light" ...well then.

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@BestofStocks hope you're cooking up a winner to get into come election time! 💰💰💰

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@kelseeyy00 don't let school get in the way of college

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

These polls are so accurate! https://t.co/fyfYhLxzzM

[Jesse McLaren @McJesse]

Politics aside this @538politics poll is really eye opening.

[Jordan @wotpl0x]

@JManziel2 DAGGER