Will Black

Software engineer, recovering theoretical physicist.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

Hey @GNRailUK how about un-amending those timetables? There’s no point in me waiting for your trains if I don’t know whether there’ll be room to board.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@BreatheAssured your nurse is now ten minutes late to a twenty minute appointment. Will they be joining at any point today?

[Will Black @wrfblack]

Sitting outside a seafront restaurant and the avant-garde DJ is playing wind-chimes at 120bpm to match the weather.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@Hermesparcels have you considered putting a human on your customer service phone line? Then they could tell me why your delivery driver thought I wasn't in all day yesterday instead of your bot telling me that don't recognise my tracking code.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@ZachWeiner We already do sound kind of like we do color. We arbitrarily divide up the audible spectrum into pitches just as we divide the visible spectrum into colors. We even call it a chromatic scale!

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@thelaceylondon "Have you heard the good news?"

[Will Black @wrfblack]

"Have you played #FF7Remake?"
"Yeah."
"What was your fav--"
"The dance-off"

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@Uber what's the point in emailing people promo codes for Uber Eats if they don't work?

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@DigitalMartyn @ProfBrianCox I assume by "it" you mean the toilet-roll market, in which case it would collapse as consumers fall into a fiery abyss.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

“VLADIMIR: Well? Shall we load-test our new site?
ESTRAGON: Yes, let's go.

They do not move.”

https://t.co/Pld92jCu2X

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@plusnethelp my internet has been down for over an hour and I can't get any technical support from you. If you're not going to fix it at least answer me.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@plusnethelp Any chance you'll get around to me one day?

[Will Black @wrfblack]

Hey @Plusnet, a week ago you sent me a confirmation e-mail and took my money and today you tell me my order didn't go through. Now you won't take my calls to raise a complaint. What are you playing at?

[Will Black @wrfblack]

I can recommend concerts during a pandemic. You can pick any seat you want.

[Jack Edwards @jackbenedwards]

someone really said “don’t worry coronavirus will only come to Durham if it doesn’t get into Oxford or Cambridge” I’m howling

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@santanderukhelp We asked for the release of funds a week ago which was due yesterday. It takes days to get each response which then just asks for documents you already have. When I ask, nobody in your company has a clue what anyone else is doing.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

It's the year 2080. @santanderuk have finally processed my mortgage application.

They reject it, as I am now dead and the property has been replaced by high-rise flats.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

World, meet Trumpkin.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

Just one year, I want to see them send the Apprentice candidates to the tent and the Bake Off contestants to the board room.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@DHLParcelUK It's a bit late, you've already returned my parcel to the sender. After only one delivery attempt. Please don't ignore my requests for redelivery next time.

[Will Black @wrfblack]

@madebygoogle do you want to reconsider using @DHLParcelUK? They don't seem interested in delivering your parcel to me, or talking to me about delivering it. #foreverwaiting :(