Ward Shandoff

[sam @samwell_gnarly_]

This is how Jose Altuve won MVP

[Zara Quinn @_Zaraquin]

Dr. Abdul El-Sayed referring to JD Vance as “Peter Thiel’s boy” is the energy I want to see from ALL Democrats heading into Nov!!

[Karen McGee @karenmotherof2]

However funny you think this will sound after reading the caption, I promise it’s significantly funnier

[Ward Shandoff @wshandoff]

Aaron Boone for president!

[Nehal Joshi @nehalPjoshi]

there a lot young people who wear nirvana t-shirts and don’t know what is happening on their screen right now. #FireAid

[Kassidy Hill @KassidyGHill]

Don’t say I never did anything for yall*

(*i did this for me)

[Danny Deraney @DannyDeraney]

The time Kris Kristofferson consoled Sinead O'Connor after she was booed mercilessly for telling the truth on SNL in 1992.

It costs nothing to be a decent human being.

God speed Kris Kristofferson.

[Casual Thursday @CasualThursday]

Hey parents! This year all school info will be sent via the MyStudent portal on SchoolNet. You’ll need an EduSphere login for the ParentFace app. There should be a link to create your account in your FartFolder. The crossing guard can reset your password if you answer his riddles

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Francis Scott Key Estate Sends Cease-And-Desist To Trump For Playing ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ At Rally https://t.co/DAUMomREFh

[matt ufford @mattufford]

what’s nice about a medal ceremony is it’s just the athletes. there’s no hedge fund vampire or billionaire failson putting his hands on the hardware first

[Paul Carr @PaulCarr]

Top 20 times ever in women's 1500m free:

1. Ledecky
2. Ledecky
3. Ledecky
4. Ledecky
5. Ledecky
6. Ledecky
7. Ledecky
8. Ledecky (today)
9. Ledecky
10. Ledecky
11. Ledecky
12. Ledecky
13. Ledecky
14. Ledecky
15. Ledecky
16. Ledecky
17. Ledecky
18. Ledecky
19. Ledecky
20. Ledecky

[Matthew Doyle @MattDoyle76]

CPI cooled
USMNT tied Brazil for the first time ever
Celtics up 3-0 in the finals

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Saw my first Cybertruck in the wild

[Kendall Baker @kendallbaker]

Japanese baseball player Chusei Mannami went viral a couple weeks ago for this ABSURD throw.

I ended up going down a rabbit hole and folks... this guy might have the most electric arm in baseball history.

🧵 Thread

[Elie Mystal @ElieNYC]

Andrew Weissmen: no one can be happy today.
Me: SORRY BROTHER CAN’T HEAR YOU WE MAKIN’ SANGRIA

[angery foosh 🐟 @teaandrobots]

this baby can list every English war crime from memory