xanadude

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[xanadude @xanadude]

I’m still getting used to the process of giving my dog his insulin. So how worried should I be that when I put the cap back on the syringe it went through and stabbed my finger? We talkin’ chasing cars side effects or am I going to lick my hand raw for no discernible reason?

[xanadude @xanadude]

A little late to the game here, but I can’t think of a better ending to a series than Lucifer. That is literally how I wanted to see it end. A shitty day just got better. 👏🏻

[xanadude @xanadude]

Took a quick break to head down to Walgreens to pick up my prescription at the express window. They shouldn’t call it that. It’s the “I need to make a hundred transactions, ask a million questions, bitch about my life to a captive audience, not sure how money works,” window.

[xanadude @xanadude]

My first Uber ride, it’s 1:40 AM and I’m sad to see the Original Hotcake House is closed for the day. There was a time many years ago I’d be all drunk and club sweaty face down in a pile of flapjacks right now. Good times.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm.

[xanadude @xanadude]

Today is the last day of to go breakfast treats with coffee on my days off. I just got charged 20 cents more for requesting no bun. JC, that’s a pisser. It’s been tasty, Jack, but we’re done now. Time to explore other options.

[xanadude @xanadude]

Really Rudolph?! Just walks away and leaves the cottage door open to the snow, with Cornelius and Hermey sleeping inside. WTH?! They could have froze to death, not to mention misfit wolf attacks.

[xanadude @xanadude]

@KenzMarieRobins @CriticalPoet Yikes! You’re a strong person, Kenzie, much respect! I hope it went well! The only thing I can say is, remember to…

[xanadude @xanadude]

I finally just threw away the dryer sheet that I’ve been staring at for several days now (which had been under the chair, across the room from where I normally sit). Frankly, between that and the gym earlier, it’s been a full rich day and I’m kind of bushed.

[xanadude @xanadude]

Am I the only one who looks like they’ve fought a glorious battle with a milky white devil after making a fresh batch of ranch dip?

I mean seriously, it’s like “run from the glutinous monster” there towards the end. So weak. I ❤️ it. #Kryptonite

[xanadude @xanadude]

What is this shitty music? I mean, Alexa, come on.

That’s what happens when I’m lost in my phone, letting things get out of hand. Wow.

[xanadude @xanadude]

The level of lazy is running high this weekend. It’s a game of eeny-meeny-miney-mo, each tearing off paper towels carefully to see who has to replace the roll. My cousin thought he’d won, but I have backup fast food napkins hidden away. #iplaytowin

[xanadude @xanadude]

I’m going with…it’s because I’m leaving on a multi-day road trip this afternoon, that I stopped into Walmart and shopped in slippers after getting coffee this morning (to buy last minute supplies).

I haven’t given up, I haven’t given up, I haven’t…

[xanadude @xanadude]

Sometimes I wish I could travel back to a post war 40’s time, just for the day. The day that Kay and Hazel make up in #swingshiftmovie. 😄 I know it was far from a perfect time (like any), but it probably wouldn’t have involved a drug deal in front of my house. 🤷🏼‍♂️ #urbancharm

[xanadude @xanadude]

Ever get that springtime un-fresh feeling when your roommate sets up an in home meeting at 10 AM on a Saturday, giving you just enough time to throw your hair up out of your face and straighten the place a little? #yesterdaysclothes

[xanadude @xanadude]

Almonds are the peanuts of the deluxe mix.

[xanadude @xanadude]

My dogs are the cutest on the planet, true, but given that...

How the hell can I possibly decide which of these million quarantine moments to delete from my camera roll? ...and when I return to work, how do I get over this addiction?

I think I’m running out of room.

[xanadude @xanadude]

I am aware this puts me in the minority, but until today I’ve never been forced to touch a stranger to keep them away from me. Subsequently, I’ve never concentrated so hard on ignoring every urge to touch my face until I could scrub my hands raw.

[xanadude @xanadude]

It’s a tricky discussion, explaining why the Beverly Hills Dog Show doesn’t feature a Stinkerbell group, to your dog.

“Because you have too much talent so it would be unfair to the other dogs who can only do one or two things,” seems to have worked for now.

[xanadude @xanadude]

I keep getting reminded of how easily distracted I am. This is the fourth time I’ve forgotten that I’m watching a movie with subtitles and picked up my phone to google something. Either I really do have ADD or this movie is a boring read.