Xavier Johnson

TURN THAT POOP. INTO WINE.

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

"I'm going to the husker game this weekend, watch for me on TV! I'll be the guy in THE RED SHIRT 😂😂😂😂😂"

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

@shonenjump Brotato. A regular family of two is shocked when their mother gives birth to a potato boy. Potato boy grows up loving people, but they shun him and he becomes man's biggest foe. It's up to his two brothers to pop a cap in a carb.

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

@shonenjump The bigger the Mom, the harder the fall!

[Mikel Jollett @Mikel_Jollett]

Guns aren't allowed at the White House, the Republican National Convention or Mar-a-Lago in case you're wondering what these people really think.

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

@URBOIDT @BlueWAUGHful Make that ass bounce like Spalding

[Steve vs. Ninjas @stevevsninjas]

The asteroid Phaethon had a near miss with Earth, at only 6.2 million miles. To understand how close that is, imagine you taking your new car to a supermarket, and a shopping cart rolls past it only 6.2 million miles away.

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

Brown= Stealing resources and breaking law
Not Brown= "Birth Tourism" https://t.co/CBj6CQ8GDg

[NBC News @NBCNews]

A growing number of Russians are coming to the U.S. to give birth. These kids will have the right to live and work here, receive social services and, when they turn 21, will have the right to sponsor their parents for an American Green Card. Read more: https://t.co/4doKwLoChn

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

Rap name: Buttercup Savage

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

Sorry I was led to believe that trans people were so skilled in combat that I should fear being alone in a bathroom with them

[A.V. Newswire @AV_Newswire]

Ruddy-faced steak salesman pronounces “billion” with 3 syllables https://t.co/lk69S0REXD

[brent @murrman5]

[roommate watching me after my gf leaves] just tell her. she probably loves hair
[me taking off bald cap] im in too deep now

[The Hill @thehill]

NPR accused of bias for tweeting out full Declaration of Independence https://t.co/NZFs0aQfjx

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

@dirtytvrdy What time you go to work?

[Xavier Johnson @XavierCJohnson]

@dirtytvrdy remember when you used to look like Drake? Those we're weird times.