Mark Agee

Comedy writer for some TV shows, Netflix/Comedy Central/Tru/TNT etc. Guy who has rage fits during mini golf.

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

I never believed in reincarnation before but... Dad?

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

Let the cops get in on front running FanDuel by putting a grand on Gilbert Arenas just before raiding his house

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

They should at least let us bet on the next athlete to get arrested for gambling scams

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Hanson concert. I said oh yeah in an mmmbop they're gone

[Blake Hammond @BigRadMachine]

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

A lot of layers to this but an underrated part of it is demanding the head of a character who is canonically three years old

[onion person @CantEverDie]

the coolest part about the elmo hacked posts is that the most insane people online are treating elmo like he’s a real guy

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

Must be weird to play for the Savannah Bananas. People will ask “What position do you play?” and you gotta be like “Third from the front in the conga line”

[TMZ @TMZ]

Caitlyn Jenner Safe in Tel Aviv as Missiles Rain Down on Israeli City | Click to read more 👇 https://t.co/otMSB2bzjf

[charlie @StyledApe]

I think it would be a good idea for protestors to not use a Mexican flag and instead opt for a Barstool Sports and/or Punisher flag in order to confuse federal agents

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@CoreyRForrester Go the other way and get a human sized litter box

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

If I know nothing else about the man his last heartbeat was caught on a federal wiretap while he was planning to illegally bug a congressman’s gangbang RIP

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: Bernard Kerik, who served as New York City's police commissioner on 9/11 and later pleaded guilty to tax fraud before being pardoned, has died. He was 69. https://t.co/n1xpoALjnU

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

Ant’s getting his money taken like the Thunder are a family court judge

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@CoreyRForrester You and me watched Murder She Wrote different

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@KirkSeriousFace @Jerod_Frank @Boweman55 Not only will it get you the best value but moving him cleans up five other guy’s roles and makes the whole roster fit better. It’s wild people think Flagg saved Nico’s job when he added three more material and non-angry reasons to fire him. (This is the 2nd of 3)

[New York Post @nypost]

Emerging Venezuelan gang ‘more violent’ than Tren de Aragua targeting rural America, expert warns https://t.co/OPG1JvoRuG

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@Boweman55 This gets to the heart of why I hate win-now trades in general. Why would we want to swap 15 years of a homegrown hero’s journey for ~3 years of doomed mercenary ring chasing? I have to care about the players to care about the team. Maybe I’m alone

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

“My enemy is a librarian” Bro you’re the villain in a PSA starring Capt. OG Readmore

[Seung Min Kim @seungminkim]

WASHINGTON (AP) — President fires Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden as White House continues purge of perceived Trump opponents.

[Jackson Safon @JacksonSafon]

Not to go full commie on here but this is also the Private Equity-ication of all parts of our lives

Mavs ownership didn’t consider the human element of this / the connection between Dallas and Luka even ONCE

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

‘Apple Cider Vinegar’ is a show that does better than most at explaining how hippy woo woo shit can turn to fascism and grift real quick. “Just make these choices and pay to be healthy” to “kill those who can’t or won’t.” Plus Kaitlyn Dever rules

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@JWRaidersLakers I just come here less. Plus the Mavs broke me with the Luka trade

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

The squirrel has swung my vote. But only because I hated it so much

[Mark Agee @MarkAgee]

@jga41agher @KirkSeriousFace Which tracks because Jaden looks like a substitute just put a movie on