blue raven💹🧲

100% #spx6900 • mama we made it

[Jaxon @jaxoncoder]

A flight attendant for a major US airline retired last month.

14 years in the sky. Over 10,000 flights.

We had drinks on Tuesday and I asked her what she actually does differently when she flies as a normal passenger.

She gave me a list of 6 things. I haven't looked at an airport the same way since.

[Burner @NotaBurnerr007]

The most braindead person on earth will say the NFL is better than this

[GhettoGronk @ghetto_gronk]

Browns fans defending Deshaun Watson now that they're 3-1 and leading the AFC North

[Laura W. @BumpstockBarbie]

How can you NOT believe in God when octopuses dream and otters have a favorite rock they carry around in a little skin pocket and cows have best friends and bees are out there communicating the coordinates of flowers through dancing and they have regional dialects?

Cats are purring at frequencies associated with bone healing? Forests get absolutely incinerated and respond by growing flowers? Dolphins literally invent names for themselves and yell them across the ocean? Penguins are waddling around Antarctica looking for the perfect rock to give their partner?

CROWS REMEMBER YOUR FACE. THEY TELL OTHER CROWS ABOUT YOU. THEY TELL THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT YOU. YOU CAN HAVE GENERATIONAL BEEF WITH A BIRD. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS.

Goats have accents. Rats laugh when you tickle them. Elephants mourn their dead. Whales make songs and then OTHER WHALES LEARN THE SONG and suddenly everybody across the ocean is singing the new song.

Monarch butterflies are born knowing how to fly thousands of miles to a place they have never been.

Sea turtles hatch out of an egg, immediately sprint toward an ocean that they have never seen, disappear into it for like 3 decades and then somehow come back to the same beach they hatched on.

Birds can see colors that we humans can’t see. There are colors out there right now that we don’t even get to know about.

There are sea slugs that eat algae and use the chloroplast/chlorophyll and then are just like…photosynthesizing. And they’re super adorable.

There are mushrooms communicating underground. There are seeds sitting in the dirt for decades like “no actually I will wait. It’s fine.”

Squirrels plant trees because they forget where they put their snacks. Relatable.

A CATERPILLAR GOES INTO A LITTLE BAG THAT IT CREATES ITSELF AND DISSOLVES MOST OF ITS BODY INTO ORGANIC GOO AND REARRANGES ITSELF, GROWS WINGS AND THEN LEAVES. WHY IS THIS NOT MORE BEAUTIFULLY TERRIFYING TO PEOPLE??

And you’re telling me a tiny acorn knows how to become a huge tree? It just has a blueprint inside itself?

Your body started as ONE CELL.

ONE.

And that cell divided itself into a brain that can think about its own existence and eyes that can look at stars and hands that can hold somebody else’s hands and a heart that runs on electricity without you even asking it to?

The iron in our blood was made inside a star??

We are walking around on a wet rock covered in bioluminescent oceans and singing whales and laughing rats and birds holding lifelong grudges and flowers exploding out of fire and somehow we’re supposed to act like this is a normal place to live?

We’re supposed to act like this is all just a random, accidental sequence of events?

[smalls @StephieSmallls]

“i’m on my period”
“idc”

[Travis 🤙🏼 @everett_tw]

I lowkey felt bad seeing Trinidad hurt then I remembered what Jon Sumrall said..

[Sean Murphy @seanhalfcourt]

Justin Verlander's ending was one for the ages. Had to add the moneyball music, because how in the heck can you not be romantic about baseball after something like that?

[BIG HYCE @99hyce]

Sometimes God holds the blessing because you’re still carrying habits that destroy it.

[Underdog @Underdog]

0-2 and opponent has Josh Allen & Jahmyr Gibbs

[Jonathan K. Finer @JonathanKFiner]

“Hey babe, I know we have a one-month old, but I’m thinking of signing up for this marathon”

[Richie @JMULiker]

Average SEC wide receiver touchdown celebration

[Tommo @tommomancini]

My wife when we don't have a Disney trip planned

[86Veggiepizza @Deplorable1520]

My wife watching me walk into the kitchen and successfully accomplish any task without doing everything involved precisely the same way she would.

[Certify-A-Bill @rights_of_bill]

When my wife watches me fold a fitted sheet…

[relliK booN @relliK_booN]

My wife seeing brake lights 200 feet in front of me.

[Luke Robinson @LSRobinson21]

Refs: No sir-- you MAY NOT mime urination with a gigantic uber-penis after a sack

Also refs: You MAY, in fact, mime smelling your own taint sweat and subsequently fainting ... THAT is perfectly acceptable and normal behavior

[Underdog @Underdog]

0-2 fantasy managers getting ready for Week 3

[Zach Bollinger @zachbollinger18]

I’m glad the NFL is cracking down on this.

Kids watch these games. No need for stuff like this in the NFL presented by DraftKings.

Let the kids find out about beer the way they should… through the hundreds of NFL sponsored Bud Light commercials per game.

[the doogfather @thedoogfather]

josh heupel literally every saturday:

[Calvin Applebottom II @_MaroonKoolAid]

Steve Sarkisian literally every Saturday: