Accidental Cosmonaut

I’ve never claimed I was perfect. I just never correct people when they assume otherwise.

[Dan Shafer @DanRShafer]

This is a complete lie from the Tiffany campaign.

Nobody at the County actually lost any health coverage. There was an administrative error, Crowley fired the person responsible, the County fixed the problem, and everyone moved on.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

‘PROJECT HAIL MARY’ has earned $33.1M in the film's domestic opening day.

Biggest domestic opening day ever for any non-franchise film.

Read our review: https://t.co/xXbtre4S79

[J @Jen22Colorado]

Good morning friends. Please help Kaylan out by giving or posting this. She didn’t deserve what happened to her. 🫶

[Prime Video @PrimeVideo]

Stargate fans, a new extraordinary journey is about to begin.

[Ro Khanna @RoKhanna]

Senator Schumer is no longer effective and should be replaced. If you can’t lead the fight to stop healthcare premiums from skyrocketing for Americans, what will you fight for?

[Brian Allen @allenanalysis]

🚨 My account is getting throttled, right as I’m pushing hard for the release of the Epstein files.

I’ve got interviews lined up with members of Congress about the case, and suddenly my reach has been slashed. Out of nowhere.

If you want the truth out, help me lift this ban:

- Like this
- Reply
- Retweet

They’re betting silence will kill this story. Let’s prove them wrong.

[NASA @NASA]

A statement from the family of Apollo astronaut Jim Lovell on his passing:

"We are saddened to announce the passing of our beloved father, USN Captain James A. "Jim" Lovell, a Navy pilot and officer, astronaut, leader, and space explorer. He was 97.

We are enormously proud of his amazing life and career accomplishments, highlighted by his legendary leadership in pioneering human space flight. But, to all of us, he was Dad, Granddad, and the Leader of our family. Most importantly, he was our Hero. We will miss his unshakeable optimism, his sense of humor, and the way he made each of us feel we could do the impossible. He was truly one of a kind."

[NASA @NASA]

We are saddened by the passing of Jim Lovell, commander of Apollo 13 and a four-time spaceflight veteran.

Lovell's life and work inspired millions. His courage under pressure helped forge our path to the Moon and beyond—a journey that continues today. https://t.co/AjT8qmxsZI

[South America @SouthPark]

Wait, so we ARE relevant?
#eatabagofdicks

[Gavin Newsom @GavinNewsom]

Oh cool I can do that too.

Red states with ZERO Dem house seats:

Oklahoma
Arkansas
Iowa
Utah
Nebraska
Idaho
Montana
West Virginia
Alaska
North Dakota
South Dakota
Wyoming

Red states with just ONE Dem house seat:

Mississippi
South Carolina
Tennessee
Kentucky
Kansas

Should I keep going?

[Mel Brooks @MelBrooks]

I told you we’d be back

[Green Bay Packers @packers]

What a moment

📺: Catch the 2025 NFL Draft on NFL Network, ABC, and ESPN

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

If you live in Wisconsin – or have friends or family who do – there’s an important Supreme Court race happening right now. And there’s only one candidate ready to protect the fundamental rights and freedoms of Wisconsinites: Judge Susan Crawford.

We’ve all seen how important judges are in protecting our rights, so vote early — don’t wait until April 1st. Find your early vote location: https://t.co/oDaQcyU3QJ

[Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez @AOC]

Trump shut off Medicaid.

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

If the NFL Was Scripted: Wild Card Weekend

https://t.co/2X98y7eI8m

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

Less than $10k away

Come watch as we raise $100k for charity

https://t.co/5uyhq2XUd0

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

WE NOT DONE YET

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

LESS THAN $18K AWAY FROM $100K

https://t.co/5uyhq2Ys2y

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

We have been streaming for over 11.5 hours and are currently less than $23k away from $100k for charity.

LET'S FREAKING FRACKING GO

https://t.co/5uyhq2Ys2y

[Tom Grossi @tomgrossicomedy]

It is surreal to have the opportunity to do this.

Nearly 10 years ago, I picked up a microphone, and now we're here.

Beyond grateful.