oldmanxel

african girl speaks in english accent, likes to fuck boys in bands

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

I yawned and now everything is louder

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

smoking a hard drive cause your mental hard drive isn’t working

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

no matter what age I am, @MileyCyrus is cool

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

“your life is a lunch break”

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

gen z will never understand the struggle of dancing with wired headphones

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

im not emotionally stable enough to be wearing blue jeans

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

can ai remove calories from garlic bread?

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

sean paul walked so bad bunny could run

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

@masterchefau you should do an episode where the judges are high and the challenge is: munchies

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

i don’t eat enough croissants

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

where are we getting slizzard?

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

2026 resolution: bitch, give me the paper!

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

2018 resolution: less bitches more paper

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

she’s wise without knowing words

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

we have completed all of our goals for the day

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

I wish I had subtitles in real life

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

we have one collective brain

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

you are the foundation of bullshit

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

I hate having to assemble my own food

[oldmanxel @xelAMartinez]

@fredagainagain1 do you do birthday parties?