Xavier Martinez

Dios ha muerto, Nietzsche tambien...y yo, ultimamente, no me encuentro muy bien... (Groucho)

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Xavier Martinez @xevi_skywalker]

En serio??? #funfacts #terradeporcs

[Larry Walters @LarryWalters_]

EL GUARDIÁN DE LAS ESTRELLAS
¿Quién es capaz de hacer un monólogo mirando a cámara diciendo que estamos usando a su estirpe como ganao y más cosas raras y acabar diciendo que el Rey es su padre? Sólo podía ser él.

[Hakyra @Hakyra13]

Sorpresa!! El dia de Nadal fem públic un projecte que fa temps que tenim entre mans!!
La trilogia original de Star Wars íntegrament en català amb una qualitat d'àudio mai vista!!

[sebastia @sebastiadosrius]

Sentir castellà a TV3 és decepcionant.
Aquesta no és la meva televisió.

[Qantas @Qantas]

Farewell, #Queenoftheskies✈️Today, the last 747 in our fleet, VH-OEJ departed Australia for the final time – adding a special display en roo-te to the US🦘#747farewell

[Garrafa @Garrafa]

Por culpa de la maldita pandemia este tampoco será el verano en el Neneh Cherry y Totamito se unan para dar una gira de conciertos llamada “Tomatito Cherry”

[Xavier Martinez @xevi_skywalker]

Es que si ellos no saben jugar al Uno para que contestan 🤪!! Todo el mundo sabe que se acumulan y hundes en la miseria a tu hermano😎!!! @victormarcam #sintrampas

[UNO @realUNOgame]

@Shiloh20255434 No, cuando se juega un +2 o +4, el siguiente jugador DEBE robar esas cartas y perder su turno para descartar.

[Jordi Graupera @JordiGraupera]

El proper pas, un cop passada l'emergència, és que calgui mostrar expedient mèdic per treballar, agafar un avió o sortir de casa, igual que després de l'11S vam haver de demostrar que no duiem bombes a les sabates per agafar un avió.

[Toei Animation @ToeiAnimation]

In these times, unite together, help each other, and let's save the world! 🙌🌎🌍🌏

[Xavier Martinez @xevi_skywalker]

Que be!! Podríem obrir la @dontell_bcn #tintorerias4ever

[TΟΝΙ RΟS @ToniRos26]

Brutal marxa Maresme

[Supermercats Bonpreu i Esclat @bonpreuesclat]

El Grup Bon Preu se suma a l'aturada general demà dia 18 d'octubre. Per aquest motiu l'empresa cessarà totalment la seva activitat. Això es traduirà en què no hi haurà activitat comercial ni laboral i els col·laboradors tindran un permís retribuït durant el dia 18 d'octubre.

[Supermercats Bonpreu i Esclat @bonpreuesclat]

El tancament de tots els establiments i centres de treball del Grup suposa un esforç considerable per a la companyia, però considerem que el moment és excepcional, i així ho mereix.

[Vicent Partal @vpartal]

Editorial URGENT de VilaWeb: El conseller Buch ha de ser destituït immediatament i la policia espanyola se n’ha d’anar.

https://t.co/lNFTWd61Em

[Víctor Martínez @victormarcam]

Què @BMGranollers pensem fer un comunicat com la resta d’entitats esportives importants del país?? O seguim fent el paperina?? #SpainIsAFascistState #Llibertatpresospolitics #SentenciaDelProces #Tsunamidemocratic

[Víctor Martínez @victormarcam]

Ens vam fer grans com a club amb la pilota com a protagonista absoluta del nostre joc. Des de fa anys hem perdut aquesta essència. Avui fem vergonya a Anfield, espero que es tanqui l’etapa.

@jmbartomeu dimiteix!!

Valverde dimiteix!!

[Xavier Martinez @xevi_skywalker]

@MastersOfNaming realment hi ha molt de talent a la nostra terra!! #talent #moltgrans #goldenkoeman

[Xavier Martinez @xevi_skywalker]

@pansGranier servei lamentable a Olesa... feia anys que no veia un servei tan dolent. Mal organitxat, inexpert, sobrepassat i sense cap idea del que venen. #espavileu #sabeualgunacosa?

[McLaren Mastercard Formula 1 Team @McLarenF1]

Ayrton Senna Sempre. 🇧🇷