kuromibiryani

before I’m a woman, I’m a hater

[miri @eggoslug]

the dead horse is beating me

[sugarplum @proseluvr]

resisting the urge to ask someone if they are mad at me when they're already in a bad mood

[HB @hanabryanne]

remember when everybody pretended men were super obsessed with talking about the roman empire? what the fuck was up with that

[🦂 @sloungerie]

“with all the coke in the world, why is your nose in my business” wise words from my 50 year old gay coworker

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

Oh gosh, it's almost them fucking cry babies birthdays. Here we go

[. @Fimiye]

i wish there was a more intense way to express my emotions than crying. i want to burst into flames

[mak @matchageekbar]

when too many people try to talk to me i feel like this

[🕷️ @rtzvv]

feeling like this little dog rn

[Leslie @HeyLeslie97]

I need to make more money

[Cłoùd𖤐 @vapefuls]

me in a public place analyzing everyone's behaviour

[Big Tee @societyhatestee]

i feel like there is a sleep in me that needs to be slept but each time i sleep i don't sleep that sleep.

[𝓓𝓸𝓬_𝔃𝓮𝓮 ✧ @doc_zee7]

Me refusing to sleep because i didn't get enough time to feel like human after work

[Jessy_szn💕 @Astro_jessie]

Me sensing an opportunity to randomly sing a song mid conversation based off words you said

[♰ 𝙽𝚊𝚎𝚝𝚘 @fw_naetoblaq]

I’m at that weird age where every younger person I meet makes me realize how much l've aged, and every older person I meet makes me realize I'm still a baby.

[𝒹𝓇𝒾𝓏𝓏𝓎𝓁𝒾𝓉 @drizzylitfw]

highly recommend owning a cat because it makes dealing with every negative emotion a little bit easier. it's difficult to feel the full weight of crushing reality when a little freak is doing olympic laps around your home after taking a loud shit

[Luke @lukecodez]

Amitabh's bachpan is no more🕊

[bug girl @buggirl]

if i were a vampire i would smoke 100 cigarettes a day and it would be so awesome and beautiful

[Ramin Nasibov @RaminNasibov]

How I’ve been watching shows lately:

[ratte @rattecs]

Caffeine? Fuck yes

Nicotine? Sure

Alcohol? Yes

Gambling? Yes

Full sugar soda? Never.

[Will @Matarael]

Reporter: “would you like to change into your uniform first before we take pic-“
Cops in perfect unison: “NOPE”