Stefanie Marie

Professional Wine-o, Insurance broker to the stars, realist, introvert, kitties, shiny things..what was i doing again? oh look wine!

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

Gotta love that moment when someone holds the door open for you when you're still 20 yards away, forcing you into an awkward jog of gratitude.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

It's amazing how many pedestrians confuse "right of way" with "immortality".

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called “The cost of food”.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for answers.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

My life should be more James Bond and less Gold Bond.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

How popular do I have to get before attempts on my life are considered "assassination attempts" rather than just attempted murder?

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

When I'm bored I like to call in sick to places I don't work for. I'm getting written up at Kohls.

[🇨🇦 Dimps of the North @CallMe_Dimps]

Bacon day? Nonono bacon doesn’t have just a day, bacon is life.

[Introvert Life @IntrovertLiving]

New Year’s Resolution: avoid getting talked to by a stranger while waiting in a line of any kind.

[Erik B @erikbransteen]

Me, 10 years ago: "I won't read a book over 300 pages."

Me, today: "I won't read a tweet over 140 characters."

[AtticusFinch79 @AtticusFinch79]

[inventor of the smart car] how about we make it look stupid

[Made In Canada @MadelnCanada]

If Buddy the Elf isn't Canadian, how do you explain him apologizing after getting hit by a cab and his maple syrup addiction?

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

The day I see a runner smiling is the day I’ll consider it.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

GOOD: Getting a 'thinking of you' card in the mail. BAD: The card is from the IRS.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

I just wanna have abs…olutely all the pasta and breadsticks.

[Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP]

Lettuce wraps are just the skinny jeans of burritos.

[VoodooChild @Mia63Rs]

We all know about 69. Comes after 68 and before 70.