Heather Whitley

Tweet tweet, bitch.

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

I'm going to get married so I can be on Wife Swap!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Travis loves to take the trash out! #trashy #trashcanlove #starbucks https://t.co/PgNEHj76x8

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

My boyfriend just said, "You know how to get a girl to shut the fuck up?" As he handed me a cup of ice cream. Such a sweetheart.

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Who needs alcohol? If you stay up long enough you'll be so tired that you feel drunk!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Yield to me, bitches! Doesn't anybody know what that red upside down triangle means?! #kiascansuckadick

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

@hahheather transfer to my Starbucks!! We've had three Brittanys, two Amandas, two Johns, two Sams...I'm waiting for my other Heather!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

@hahheather are you the Pennsylvania me?!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Is it acceptable to eat ice cream and text while taking a bubble bath? If not...then that's not what I'm doing right now.

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

@Armyman5150 oh heyyyy army man!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

@travieclaus01 I accidentally tweeted the wrong person #ithoughtitwasyou #oopsie

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Twitter still exists?

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Why is it that ELEVEN of my followers don't even seem to speak English?

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

@AmaNorris Do it!!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

No, I'm not about to "pop". That's not how you have a baby. I'm not a balloon.

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Pancake titties!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Hey Mr.Itchyballs, stop scratching in public!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

I didn't even see any prostitutes in Vegas. What a disappointment!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

My mom's version of "jazzy" is putting pink laces on her tennis shoes. Very cool, Tammy.

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

OMFGGGGGG don't you just LOVE baseball?!?!

[Heather Whitley @xxxHeather]

Jesus hates zombies!