sassy blond jesus

im lev garrity and you are jackass

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

I MEAN I MAY HAVE GONE THROUGH AN EMO SUICIDE BOMBER TERRORIST PHASE BUT AT LEAST IM NOT INTO 50 YEAR OLD MEMES LIKE THOSE TWO

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

AFTER ESCAPING DEATH 12838 TIMES AND ENDING UNWINDING IS MAKING RETRO MEME VINES THE BEST USE OF TIME YOU COULD THINK OF IS IT YOU FUCKERS

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

how did they even sneak in here anyway what the fuck am i gonna tell elina where did they find another dead plane to film this in holy shit

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

and it was our family's oven like fuck you guys isnt there an easier way than taking an oven all the way from rez if youre gonna smash it

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

pls kill the guy who brought back 2010s memes connor and risa just made a "when admiral isnt at the graveyard" vine & destroyed an oven

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

miracolina's family wants me to take me on a trip to the vatican
...
remember what i said earlier about nicknames and religious wars...?

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

but i dont know how long i'll be able to be safe from her family after excommunication alright

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

i mean excommunication doesnt matter for me im some kinda branch of protestant, probably, idk

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

tfw when miracolina and i cant think of nicknames for each other that wont result in another religious war or excommunication

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

me x rule 63 me #StillABetterLovesStoryThanTwilight

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

shovel x me x autocorrect threesome #StillABetterLovesStoryThanTwilight

[Risa Ward @RisaUnwind]

Hayden and Spam #StillABetterLovsStoryThanTwilight

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

the hills are alive~~ with the sound of teenagers exploding~~

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

if i was 13 id say #whiteandgold but current me would say #blackandblue

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

why did nobody tell me anything about the part of puberty where i become a terrorist or get full body tattooes and jump in front of a gun

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

happy cheap chocolates day eve!

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

rt) WE PARTY. HELL YEAH.

[Risa Ward @RisaUnwind]

So what now??

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

poor @RolandUnwind only gets fanart when he's being unwound. cmon guys give him some love but not too much bc he still was a pain in the ass

[sassy blond jesus @yaboylev]

@StarkeyUnwind well as that one quote goes(i think) "ive never wished death upon anyone but i have read some obituaries with great pleasure"