Yoni Berkovits

Author of THE WEDDING HEIST (Minotaur, 2028). Winner of 12 Nobel Prizes (not yet, but I'm manifesting).

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@tyler_stasi @JennaSchmenna @StormLiterary @MinotaurBooks Thank you @tyler_stasi

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

So proud and excited to announce this! Deeply grateful to my unstoppable agent @JennaSchmenna at @StormLiterary, and to my brilliant editor Claire Cheek at @MinotaurBooks, for making this dream come true. And, always, always to my wife Jane Metcalf for literally everything.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@AJDeLoach @JennaSchmenna @StormLiterary @MinotaurBooks Thank you A.J.!

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@JennaSchmenna I love your account but I always thought it needed more content about the laws of aerodynamics.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

So important to play with kids in ways that engage their creativity and imagination. For example we have this game we call Super Spy where I send them on a mission into enemy territory and the territory is the other room and the mission is to watch a tv show.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

Tried to Google “romantic gifts” but accidentally typed “romantic gifs” and anyway I am saving a lot of money this year.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

I approach the holiday season like I’m prepping for a role in a movie and I have to put on like 75 pounds on purpose.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

No matter how many times I sneeze, it’s not my fault so people should be tolerant. When someone else sneezes, the first three get a pass and after that it’s a crime against humanity.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

I’m writing a technical manual on refrigerator repair but I cut the part about condenser coils because you have to kill your darlings.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@kallanharris @JennaSchmenna @StormLiterary Kalla, you are so right. Especially when you consider it’s a standalone with thread potential.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

Hey I just got a fantastic literary agent! @JennaSchmenna is brilliant and tenacious and I’m so lucky to be working with her and the team at @StormLiterary. Jenna, can we please sell the rights to this tweet for a million dollars? I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

[Jenna Satterthwaite @JennaSchmenna]

I’m thrilled to announce my newest client @yonatanberkov! His mystery is so smart (he is a lawyer, ya know ;) and funny—I nearly busted a rib laughing, and I swear I can see the miniseries already.

Editors watch out!! 😎

@StormLiterary

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@ItsMikeKay Sending good thoughts to you and your family Mike.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@waywaw I’m great! How are you my friend?

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@brandonlisy This was before the cops dug up Ricks property. Turned out it wasn’t a deer. We had less of a “swell time” after that.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

Keeping the Christmas spirit alive throughout the year by failing to get all the pine needles out of the rug.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@waywaw Bc they would have done something like this if it had been around. He sees Kondo on TV and he asks Melfi about it with an attitude of “what is this bullshit” and she explains why it’s valuable then in the end he realizes who he needs to rub out. Would have been a great spec

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

Marie Kondo branded action film where a mob boss decides to tidy up by assassinating all the subordinates that no longer bring him joy.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

@waywaw That is much funnier than what I said tbh.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

The moment where we realize that Batman smells is robbed of all emotional resonance in Joss Whedon’s version. Only in the Snyder Cut do we see it was in fact Robin who laid an egg, and our perspective on Joker getting away is changed irrevocably.

[Yoni Berkovits @yonatanberkov]

Every year at this time I tell my kids they must be very very good or else the Federal Reserve will raise interest rates.