Kieran Mueller

[christoph @Halalcoholism]

Once you hear the idea that people who were unpopular nerds in high school adopt radical politics to invert the dynamic and mock others as squares, it’s hard not to keep seeing it again and again

[Buyside Scum @CorpFinScum]

You would need the national guard to keep me from providing the shareholders value.

[buck tooth cunt @Royal_McPoyle]

i bought a new car battery and it was like $220 and the girl at auto zone said “wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 99 of them?” and i said “okay” so she typed 99 in the quantity and the price went to $23000 and she said “thats how much it would cost” and i said “okay”

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

Rats in New York City are built different😳

[唯我独尊・宮内蛍 @real_hotaru]

Good morning

[Crub @CrubTV]

The Plain White Ts reacting to Drake covering Hey There Delilah in a fake Jamaican accent genuinely looks like NASA watching The Challenger disaster I’m crying man

[zantae 🦇 @DeathAngelUSA]

I have to share this again: “Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.”

[FadeHubb @FadeHubb]

He was tired of shopping with his wife😭

[Mesh🇧🇧 @rahsh33m]

They got Martin and Will from TEMU😂

[I Don't Know Her @I_Dont_Know_Her]

I've watched this about 100 times

[Insane Reality Leaks @InsaneReality]

Mornings in New York are different

[Unbased🧛🏿 @unbasedsavage]

Old heads can’t handle this new shit😭

[juju 💰 @ayeejuju]

how many times you gon tweet this 😭

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

just bought this and updated it 🥰