Zach Blank

I work at @kinectiv and play drums in @aslionsandlambs. Jesus, art, metal, ultimate, food, dubstep. Instagram and Snapchat: zachotomy

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

Today was a pretty average day at work. I kicked one of my coworkers in the head but it was nbd

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

ITS NOT A PHASE MOM ITS A REBRAND

[Mr. Money Mustache @mrmoneymustache]

The Best Revenge is Living Well.

If you're pissed off at someone or something, you can win the battle before it begins with 3 steps:

- go out for a walk right now
- write out a productive to-do list when you get back
- then make yourself a kickass salad later tonight.

Win!

[Quackity @Quackity]

Adam and Eve: *sin*

God:

[silentplanet @SLNTPLNT]

our next record will make us the heaviest impossible-to-mosh-to band ever mark my virgin words.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

“God can transform you so that you look like a brand new computer!”

[As Lions and Lambs @aslionsandlambs]

OUR NEW SINGLE IS OUT👀 Check it out below!
https://t.co/iOvlpSf9fg

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

@_KyleBurkholder I did that with cinnamon ▶️ cumin on my rolled oats.

Always a great time. And yes I ate them.

[Kyle @covfefe_kyle]

Saying “basically” doesn’t make something simple or make people understand.

I’m going to stop saying it.

[Kyle @covfefe_kyle]

I have the new ULTA thin MacBook Pro-

It weights 0.00oz due to me not having it while the logic board gets replaced

My wallet is also $475 lighter

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

Judging by the dancers’ low standards, competitiveness and extreme willingness to flirt with a stranger, I must assume that all ballets are set in a post apocalyptic era where all men, save one, have died from an aggressive virus which attacks the prostate. Open to other ideas.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

Peanut juice — probably won’t get very far with that...

[Cloyd Rivers @CloydRivers]

Are you free this weekend?

*gazes into distance*
*bald eagle screeches*

This is America. I'm always free.
Merica.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

“I mean, you forced his sex change, so...”

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

What I learned today is that two hours of sleep on an airplane can undo a lifetime of yoga.

[Pranay Pathole @PPathole]

This is what users do when you create an intuitive UI.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

I just saw this band playing some classic rock covers. They were decent... but here’s some feedback I have for the drummer:

If you can’t play clean 1/8 singles at 104, maybe book lessons instead of shows.

Just a thought.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

I’m stress eating. Big time.

[Zach Blank @zachotomy]

Autocorrect has really been taking a p00p on my flow recently

[silentplanet @SLNTPLNT]

travy scott asked us but the font size was too small so we were like nah