thisisntreal

Completely devoid of looks, talent, creativity,and intelligence.

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

@CashSports I think the run game misses Callahan too! Making blocking adjustments.

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

ComeBUSTmeballs@flashinthefartbox?
Considering name change.

[Richard Harris @RichHarris2]

That gnawing sense of something missing. Probably orgasms.

[Rock @TheMichaelRock]

People speeding and weaving in and out of traffic to get to work, explain yourselves.

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

I'm "never get any boobs in my DMs" years old!

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

When you walk past the ox, does the oxymoron?

[Barroom Hero 🦬 @UnIxphysco]

Hot singles in your area ignoring you on their phones

[SΞASTONESTREET @clindsaysway]

I just set up my holiday negativity scene.

[marc @bighandsmassuer]

I already know my New Years resolution....

Not to have sex

Not a chance I'll get the opportunity to break it

[Boston Supah stah @VictorscarletJ]

But have you even thanked her pelvic floor muscle?

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

Considering farting less in public as a possible New Years resolution?

*not ready to commit

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

@krissywillbretz and I got a bumper crop about to come to harvest!

[thisisntreal @zen_dad]

Dr Pepper withdrawal is real!

[Malbec 🇦🇷 @MissMalbec]

The day you accept you're not thaaaat special, that's when you stop being an idiot.

[Bat Boy @brianbowman73]

I'm not getting drunk to dull my emotions

I'm marinating my feelings so they're easier to eat.

[Vincent Van Gone @VVanGone]

don't fucking try to fix me

[buddhatree @buddhatree]

Thanksgiving-leftovers-burrito is my favorite holiday burrito of the year.