Danny Zimbabwe

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

Enter to win up to $50,000+ in prizes from Natural Selection Tour - the more people enter, the more prizes get added. https://t.co/OOpq1XvWuO

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@evanmumford Let's get an update

[HasbullaHive 🐐 @HasbullaHive]

call me precum the way i’m dripping 🥶

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@drdre @tomdelonge
Do you pee in the shower?
Thanks in advance.

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@cheddaboicote Slicked back hair, white shorts, white leather couch, sloppy steaks. Yeah, I was reaaaal piece of shit

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@evanmumford 🤙

[sean 🔜 anyc @Haurmeya]

say your prayers weezer

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@Chetski1 🤣

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@shaner23 Remember "Eggs"? I wonder how she's doing 🤔

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@Tommytoughstuff https://t.co/dbi1JMwCrK

[Good Kyle @KyleMcDowell86]

******AMBER ALERT******

Amber if u're listening, I still love u. Pls give me another chance. I promise I'll stop calling u Grimace in bed.

[HAIM @HAIMtheband]

our gift to you today is our fav tweet of 2020

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@DasUsed #hypebeast

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

@DasUsed Yo you play with BigToiletSnake? That dude is a hype beast.

[chuuch @ch000ch]

my dream girl is smart, witty, attractive, and willing to ignore the autofill URL suggestions when she's using my laptop

[GoaT FacE @EndhooS]

Vet: your horse is lame.
Me: *looks at horse through window* he looks fine?
Vet: *cleaning his glasses* he's a fucking loser Dave.

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

The garden looks good so far but my wife left me because I didn't Google: What to expect when you're expecting tomatoes

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

Girlfriend: [brushing her teeth] don't rush the brush!
Me: never! [Brushing my armpit hair slowly while staring blankly at the wall]

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

I was devastated when I found out Neil Armstrong wasn't the first man to walk on moon boots.

[Danny Zimbabwe @zimballz]

I glance deeplyat what has become my life, I look her in the eyes, and as I throw my Klondike bar wrapper away, whisper "goodbye old friend"

[eric curtin @dubstep4dads]

me: i saw on fb you had a baby
friend: ya
me: how much does he bench
friend: what
me: [leans in to his ear] how much. does he fuckin bench