Zoe

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

I’ve been accepted on buying a brand new house on my own, shame I won’t be ready until summer #toldyouicoulddoit #WorkingHard

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Learn from my mistake and don’t search the internet for what your full name means because I am now forever haunted by the fact that mine is “Life Witch Strap-On” #MistakesWereMade #greatparenting

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

It’s so hard to find a nice house in a semi decent area with a garden for my future dogs and within my price range. I just want to move out because I miss my independence 😂

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

I was really looking forward to going to see The Nun, it’s such a shame that it was ruined by some people talking/shouting/using phones all the way through. Just because you look 12 years old doesn’t mean you should act it. #peoplesuck

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Do psycho exes know when they are being psycho because the guy I dated for a month in 2014 randomly started messaging and getting mad if I didn’t reply that day? #youarenotapriority #youtriedcontrollingwhatiwore #psycho

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

My gran supports my future of being a spinster so much so that she has started knitting me cats so I can live that crazy single cat lady life. #foreveralone #spinster #crazycatlady #singlelife

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

I’m probably not going to fit into my graduation dress with all this birthday cake I’ve been eating, can someone else eat it all so I’m not tempted? #fatty #graduationprep

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

@MellyMoo_10 I can’t keep them in a relationship but I can accidentally make them regret it after we split 😂

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Everyone keeps posting loads of pictures of adorable little kids and it’s making me so broody #pleasestop

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

@jonarrthan Did you have a snowball fight?

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Looks like I’m spending my birthday home alone; weekday birthdays suck.

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

@jonarrthan Yeah so at least I won’t be trapped in the house

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

I may have called someone a “f***ing retard” to their face, I forgot I had my windows open in the car #roadrage #oops

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

@jonarrthan Well I sure hope that dream doesn’t come true, I hate birds 🙈 How did you coax it out?

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Had the strangest dream last night that there was a seagull on my windowsill because I left my window open whilst in work #WeirdDream

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

At least my dog is always happy to see me

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

I’m officially 2 stone lighter than I was at my biggest. Some people from school don’t even recognise me. #gettingthere #formerfatty

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Thanks to a 17 hour delay on the way back from holiday and an EU regulation, I’m getting 94% of the price of the holiday back in compensation 😂😂 #notbad #cheapholiday

[Zoe @zoerb1207]

Yesterday whilst walking up Pen Y Fan pretty much everyone except me was in hiking gear and there I was in a dress #stillcompleteditthough