Zoë

annoying at best

[Zoë @zoesonora]

ladies and gentlemen, my husband @UglierGnat

[Zoë @zoesonora]

20 minutes into the odyssey my husband turns to me and asks when they're going to start singing

[Rita Repulsive @myc0latt]

Alex Guarnaschelli on an episode of Chopped where the mystery ingredient is xanax

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

One firework is enough to get the point across

[Fear Before The Marge Of Simpson @cleaming_]

his parents named him David Lynch because they knew he would grow up to make Lynchian movies

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

As an equally beautiful woman with perfect opinions I also will not be attending

[Zoë @zoesonora]

The Devil Wears Prada 2 press tour is working on me 🫩😔

[Zoë @zoesonora]

I fully thought that man's name was clavicle

[feral stardust @celestialxsigh]

Is wellbutrin supposed to make you feel like judy garland

[Zoë @zoesonora]

When you think about it, February really is the superior month 💐

[𝓜. ❤︎ @rissalutions]

Since the Winter Olympics is underway, this is the perfect time to post Surya Bonaly doing her back flip on ice. Judges used to underscore her and I loved that she did the backflip in her last performance before retiring as a big FU to the establishment.

[liv @chylerswift]

my frontal lobe is developed and i’m finally getting rid of this diva

[Zoë @zoesonora]

Year of the horse girl

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

when youre a quirked up white girl you can't say stuff like "I'm tired" you have to say some bullshit like "im eepy peepy lemon squeepy" and it sucks for everyone

[gumball @gnmball]

literally no one believes me when i say i'm evil i don't know why

[Zoë @zoesonora]

This is your yearly reminder to NOT read Wicked the book

[moni @wrappedaroundme]

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian

[Zoë @zoesonora]

Haven’t rooted for someone this hard since I was liberal

[Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani]

⏰

[Tom Smyth @Tom_Smyth_]

me if i worked at vogue

[zoë @zoeweeeemama]

She zoo on my wee till I mama