Joel Howden

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@RonnieAdkins Drug boats?

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@EODHappyCaptain Still too much tomato. The appropriate amount of tomato is none.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

Came into the office this morning to a neighboring building alarm going off. Speaker outside blaring “…authorities have been notified..”. It’s been an hour, alarm still blaring, no authorities have shown up. But there is a motorcyclist going up and down the street doing wheelies. Im assuming some security salesman told the owners this was the way to protect their property.

[Matthew Modine @MatthewModine]

REPOST by Monday, August 31 for a chance to win this rare 4-CD set of my @FMJDiary Audiobook + a signed mini print of my #Kubrick Chair photo! I'll pick one winner at random and announce next #ModineMonday.

And if you'd like to support the @FMJDiary project and exhibition, you can purchase one of these sets + a Challenge Coin at the link below. Only 15 available!

https://t.co/C7d6PleakX

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@MaryTilesTexas Dodge UConnect? i get it. The struggle is real.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@RoKhanna @BernieSanders Howdy. California voter here. Eat a bag of dicks and fuck off.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@pronounced_kyle There’s a little blue pill that can fix this.

[Matthew Modine @MatthewModine]

Repost + be following by Monday, August 17 for a chance to win this signed 25th Anniversary Edition of WIND on Blu-ray! I’ll select one winner at random and announce next #ModineMonday. Good luck!

[NASA @NASA]

LIVE: Goodbyes have been said and the Soyuz hatch is closed. Now, watch as the spacecraft undocks, beginning @Astro_ChrisW's journey back to Earth. https://t.co/8KrW3ANqZp

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@GovTimWalz You’re a steaming pile of shit, asshole. Eat a bag of dicks.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@Fat_Electrician My 14-year old daughter can’t wait to drive. I let her drive around the neighborhood every so often and she loves it. I keep hoping it’s because I have a V8 Hemi but I know it’s just because she can’t wait to grow up.

[SpaceX @SpaceX]

The path to launch is filled with obstacles and success is only possible through the tireless efforts of many working together towards a common goal. “Critical Path” continues the ongoing Starship series, following SpaceX engineers through the final days before launch of the first Starship V3 and the challenges that come with development of the world’s most powerful and fully reusable rocket.

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.?

Because we gave them that L in 1776.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@CapitalOne I just made a payment on my capital one credit card from my capital one checking account via the capital one app. I got the confirmation email that the transaction in processing but neither account (checking or credit card) in the app shows a pending or processing payment and the balance on my checking account still shows the previous balance. Since it’s all within your system, you could provide some more accurate information. Please fix.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

Made an application for benefits through @SocialSecurity on April 30. Had a phone interview on June 4. Went to the local office on June 5 to provide remaining information (drivers license and direct deposit info). Get a call this morning - July 2 - that the FAX didn’t go through to upload my information to the system so I have to provide the information again. I’m gonna say that again - THE FAX DIDN’T GO THROUGH IN 2026!! And it took them a month to figure out it didn’t work…..just stunning.

[Matthew Modine @MatthewModine]

Repost + be following by Monday, July 6 for a chance to win one of these limited edition FULL METAL JACKET “War Face” Challenge Coins! Only 100 were made and each comes in a hand-signed plastic envelope! I’ll pick one winner at random and announce next #ModineMonday. Good luck!

And if you’d like to support the @FMJDiary project and exhibition, you can order one of these coins with a signed envelope + get a bonus signed Kubrick Chair mini print and link to my unabridged FMJ DIARY audiobook here:

https://t.co/szGrFHS4Mi

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@Tim_Walz You were Kamala’s genital wart…sit down.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@Angels Sell the team, Arte.

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@TrentRushSports Galaxy Quest

[Joel Howden @zuul345]

@harryjsisson #TitleOfYourSexTape