You're throwing your life away because you have a dopamine addiction
You're addicted to the phone, you can't concentrate on your plans because it's not stimulating enough, and you keep starting and stopping everything year after year
You can change that, and you should
This paragraph by C.S. Lewis, written in 1952, still hits hard:
“We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken a wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man.”
once u stop fantasizing about an ideal version of urself & start working towards it by setting ur alarm clock earlier, working out, reading & stop procrastinating you'll realise that it was so easy all along. ur ideal self will only ever exist in ur mind until u make the decision
Humans shouldn't always stay at home, even if you have nothing to do. Because staying at home for too long makes the brain become dull and leads to overthinking. You'll have more negative emotions. Psychology calls this state mental rumination. Most of the time, people who stay at home long term are not physically lazy - but mentally exhausted. You increasingly do not want to go out or see people. Even going to the supermarket downstairs to buy a bottle of water feels troublesome. You start to get used to being in a daze alone, scrolling through your phone and staying up late. Then you repeatedly struggle with yourself in an empty room. You think you're resting. But in fact, you're quietly draining the vitality of life. Your brain needs stimulation. Movement. Connection. Without it, your thoughts turn inward and spiral. The longer you isolate, the harder it becomes to break the pattern.