Allen Johnson

Jorts are 4ever. #RideOnBrandon

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

"Allen looks like you're the next one in line to get married!"

Yeah thanks I'll just have another vodka redbull please.

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

@EShetka @mnwild @bentpaddlebeer @cdangerbrewer Blue nails look good on you Ed. Nice touch

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

RT to ruin a Saints fan’s day #tbt

[Nick Swardson @NickSwardson]

Just woke up from my 3rd nap. I’m either the 6th Golden Girl or I’m changing my name to Michael Nappaport.

[NFL Memes @NFLMemes]

If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

@andysorben Never heard that one before, but it is much appreciated 💁🏼

[Dave Birkett @davebirkett]

The Browns holder, Britton Colquitt, just ran on the field with no helmet on his head. Had to run back to the bench to get it.

And the Lions are down 10-0 to this team.

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

@EShetka @EngelmeyerJer Hell of a deer! Good for him! Congrats!

[Nick Swardson @NickSwardson]

Nothing will immediately make me start crying like videos of troops coming home and surprising there families. @espn ♥️ and respect to our military today!!! Love u dad and grandpa (Army and Air Force)

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

@andysorben Cuntry boy Andy 🤠

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

@MeninistTweet @RileyVahlsing

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

“Oh my god it smells like skunk out here”

yes......skunk

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

*white girl gets her first tattoo* https://t.co/aR1AQsxDYw

[RIP IT Energy @RIPITEnergyFuel]

Some say when you drink Rip It you don’t need headphones. Music just automatically plays in your head. PC: Bee Brady

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

You got a lot of spare time https://t.co/YgwlutVIoe

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

Still don’t like Rodgers

[Allen Johnson @218_AlleyCat]

Want to know the best way to insure your left over pizza doesn’t get ate?

ORDER A HAWIAN PIZZA.

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

Chick: I love dudes who can rap

Me: I can rap

Her: Rap for me then

Me: https://t.co/PdikNtBWl5

[Because I'm a Guy @CauseWereGuys]

if only all infomercials were like this https://t.co/Es8OXRHD72

[Lex 💜 @lleexxiix]

Not sorry to inform you, praying does fix EVERYTHING, having faith does get you through ANYTHING, and my God is in EVERY situation https://t.co/wCp0Q2q2OZ