Srarahacha

all senior citizens should have life alert

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

Seems like them Kardashians are all silicone no rubber

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

Chevy commercials are that guy that could have gone pro in highschool like wow you got a JD award in 2013 stop putting it in commercials

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

I hate when you go see a movie and the trailers end

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

I hate Dwayne the Rock Johnson

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

@justLyonaround_ From someone who has gigantic thighs: there's no shorts for us either

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

I don't want to see what I missed Twitter why do you think I missed it

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

I have not used Paint in like ten years much less owned a PC period but I am SALTY about them getting rid of it

[elijah daniel @elijahdaniel]

i didn't want to say this bc we said no drama this summer but I can't keep quiet anymore I'll just say it in n out's fries are soggy trash

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

What kind of PSYCHOPATH rides down the interstate with their windows down

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

@csydelko I am SO asexual for you

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

@fleurfoxes I thought this was a picture of you when I scrolled past it

[Winter @Wintersaulter]

Going shopping for a bra like: I'm not looking to revive my 30 year old marriage, I don't need diamonds by the armpits, just beige, please.

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

One time my brother called me and asked where I was and I said "I'm in five guys" and he said "ha better than the alternative"

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

Realtor: the other couple made a higher bid

Me: oh have they

*slides over binder full of pics of the house just with dogs edited in*

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

Realty websites need a search filter for "how many dogs can live in the house before neighbors get concerned and call Sarah McLaughlin"

[Greg Sheffer @gsheffr]

Stop complaining about ur life, theres people out there who are literally allergic to dogs

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

#herecomeshaneysbooboo is so much better though

[Srarahacha @2eggbreakfast]

Arguing with my Feyoncé because he wants our wedding hashtag to be "Haneyishrunkthekids"