Dostoevsky was 28 when they stood him in front of a firing squad. Blindfolded. Hands tied. He could hear the rifles being loaded.
At the last second a messenger on horseback arrived. The Tsar had commuted the sentence. The entire execution was staged. Psychological torture designed to break him.
It worked. He had a seizure on the spot.
They sent him to a labour camp in Siberia. 4 years. Freezing. Starving. Sleeping on wooden planks next to murderers. His epilepsy got worse. He had no paper. No pen. Nothing.
When he got out he was broke. His first wife died. His brother died. He inherited his brothers debts. He was so desperate for money he signed a contract with a publisher that would have given away the rights to everything hed ever write if he missed the deadline.
He wrote The Gambler in 26 days to make it. Dictated it to a 20 year old stenographer named Anna. Married her three months later.
Then the real work started. Crime and Punishment. The Idiot. Demons. The Brothers Karamazov. The greatest novels in the history of the Russian language. Maybe any language.
The man who stood blindfolded before the firing squad, who convulsed on the ground while soldiers watched, who slept next to killers in Siberia for 4 years, who was buried in debt and grief.
That man wrote: "every minute can be an eternity of happiness."
He earned the right to say it.
its never over. never give up fren.
You became a founder.
You quit the 9-to-5. You raised a little money. Everyone called you "brave" over drinks. You spent your nights building and your days pitching "the future," convinced that the next launch would change your life forever.
Then a year passes.
Flatline traction. $0 salary. Your co-founder quit via Slack. Your girlfriend left for someone with a 401k and a "stable" future. Your friends are posting house keys while you’re staring at a bowl of ramen, rehearsing the same tired lies to your parents about why the "big break" is just around the corner.
Is this the end? You start wondering if you made a mistake.
No. You keep telling yourself every founders went through this at some points. But you don’t stop.
Logic says quit. Your ego says run. But there’s a sickness in you that won't let go. You’d rather fail at this than succeed at anything else. You tell yourself it’s just one more launch, one more pivot, one more "yes."
You’re not delusional; you’re committed.
You’ll miss this.
Not the stress, but the electricity. The raw doubt that forced you to grow. The quiet fire of building while the world slept. The pure, unrefined dopamine of that very first user.
These aren't just "hard years", they are the years that forge you. One day, when the bank account is full but the mystery is gone, you’ll find yourself wishing you could feel this hungry again.
They all do.
seriously, working with AI is MISERABLE for one and only one reason: having to re-explain the same thing
"oh yeah this new session obviously doesn't know what proper case trees are, so let me explain it for the 5000th time in my life"
I'm tired
AGENTS.md doesn't solve this because it is impossible to fit the entire domain knowledge without nuking the context - it would be 1m+ tokens worth
RAGs don't solve this, the agent won't search unknown unknowns
SKILLs don't solve this unless I keep like a collection of 1750 skills with specific cuts of domain knowledge for each possible subset of my domain that I might need in a given chat, but that's a lot of manual work
recursive LLMs or whatever don't solve this for the same reason, you can't dump a domain book and expect the AGENT will magically guess that it is supposed to search for a specific bit knowledge. unknown unknowns
fine tuning doesn't solve this (OSS models suck and OpenAI / Anthropic gave up on user fine tuning)
I honestly think a good product around fine tuning on your domain would be a major hit and an underdog lab should take this opportunity
guys... please, stay alive for the books you haven't read, the anime you haven't finished, and the stray cats you haven't petted yet. stay alive for the smell of rain, your morning coffee, the songs that will become ur new favorites, and the versions of urself you haven't met yet