Nicole Hixon

no yeah forsure

[Maryam @hell_line0]

We choose the bear because if it drugged and assaulted us for 7 hours, authorities would shoot it not ask it to write an essay and then help it find a job at a wealth management firm. Be so for real, Cornell.

[Sophie Gonzales @sgonzalesauthor]

The biggest change of viewpoint I ever went through in psych training was when I said “but what if they’re doing it for attention” and my supervisor was like “what’s wrong with needing attention?” and I realised I didn’t have an answer.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

me when the restaurant brings out bread for the table

[Graham Walker, MD @grahamwalker]

Just so we're clear: the pregnancy that ends up in the wrong spot, like the fallopian tube? The one that will NEVER turn into a baby and will rupture and kill your wife, daughter, or sister? Terminating that fetus is also an abortion, and they want to ban those, too.

[Gators Daily 🐊 @GatorsDaily]

god i wish that was me

[Kelley 🌙 @kelleymcgrathx]

NOT BETTY WHITE DYING TWO WEEKS BEFORE SHE TURNS 100

[Guy LeFleur @EJ_Santana]

@theweeknd Holding on to a ticket for 3 years just to have to buy them again for a new venue

[1984’s George Whorewell @EwdatsGROSS]

“Are you ok” no, my boyfriend watches Thursday night football, Saturday football, Sunday football and Monday night football

[WorkRatee @WorkRatee]

kanye you psychotic bald bastard where is the album

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

If your tweet is *really* good my boyfriend and I might repeat the punchline of it back and forth to each other for 3-5 years.

[Losing it @prophethusband]

my mom showing me 15 incredibly out of focus pictures of flowers she took in her garden

[coach/player @OffBall30]

Direct deposit: 1400

Me at SeaWorld: how much for their freedom

[a @burtmackliinFBI]

me when I’m on a call with someone

[gary from teen mom @garyfromteenmom]

waitress: how’s everything tasting?
me:

[Chance Hixon @chancehixon]

Goodnight Twitter #goodnight #sleep #ahyeah