Marcia Rock

Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is the most lonely one.

[Mary Nicholson @AsonovMs]

Reasons I check my voicemail- 1% to hear the message, 99% to get rid of that annoying icon

[Suzanne Yanez @chintsov1]

You claim you are a "bad bitch" but you have no house, no car, and no job you're not a bad bitch you're doing bad, bitch.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

Me? Weird? Bitch please, I'm limited edition.

[Michelle Erickson @lbedinadze]

ME: How about a quickie? *pulls pants down*

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

If you're a small guy in prison, I bet the worst cellmate you could get would be a big angry ventriloquist who misses his dummy.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

Remember and enjoy this moment because before you know it, it will be Monday morning.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. They text or call to say they're outside.

[Victoria Kite @zaytunya]

WIFE: Would you ever die for me?

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

That awkward moment when a package says "Easy open" & you end up using scissors, knife, hammer and a gun trying to open it.

[Maria Harden @stakin74]

"Are you jealous?" - "Nope" - "Are you jealous?" - "I said NO!" - "Okay, give me a kiss?" - "Go ask your 'friend' for a kiss"

[Amber Vance @danila_rezunov]

Geez, you dress up like the Grim Reaper ONE time and they never let you back into this nursing home.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

Those who can laugh at troubles must be having a hilarious time nowadays.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

The people who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

To get your kids attention, stand in front of the TV.

[Jamie Lawyer @khaliullina941]

I honestly enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times, you know, just to be sure...

[Marcia Rock @85Ilariya]

How did the Dinosaur pass his exam? With Extinction!