Diana Fontenot

I am not ignoring you. I am just waiting for you to make an effort to talk to me first.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

Being Addicted to sex is like being addicted to pizza. When its good its great, but when its bad, its still pretty good.

[Dawn Rennie @mikhalychev93]

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It'll be called You-Twit-Face.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

Me? Weird? Bitch please, I'm limited edition.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

That awkward moment when you're trying to explain how a song goes but you really don't want to sing it

[Julianne Sites @2016Steshenko]

I don't make typos, I make new words.

[Carrie Parker @88Yuriya]

Teacher: How can we keep our school clean? Student: By staying at home.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me.

[Carrie Paez @MsSavvatey]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Winifred Sorensen @ErnestMiglovets]

That awkward moment when you're trying to explain how a song goes but you really don't want to sing it

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

I think car horns should sound like gun shots....I bet you'll move then.

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

You give me respect, I return respect.

[Margie Steele @82_bruy]

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It'll be called You-Twit-Face.

[Dina Rodriguez @pdobretsov]

Ever noticed how your funniness goes up 100% when you are around your best friend?

[Diana Fontenot @votinov83]

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.