Karen Castro

A BEST friend scolds you like a dad, cares like a mom, teases like a sister, irritates like a brother, and loves you more than a lover.

[Amber Vance @danila_rezunov]

An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, 'So far so good!'

[Priscilla Holman @bakhishevavita1]

POLICE OFFICER: "How high are you?" ME: "No officer. It's 'Hi, how are you?'"

[Ada Keith @2016_issa]

He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing.

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

"I wasn't that drunk..." "Dude, you picked up a little mexican girl and screamed, "DORA! I NEED YOUR MAP TO GET HOME"

[Rachel Brown @apynackn]

U-G-L-Y, YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI YOU UGLY, YEA YEA YOU UGLY!

[Diane Morgan @qagopGet]

A real woman doesn't have to throw dirt on another females name to feel more secure about herself.

[Sheila Kitchens @lzaleshchenok]

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

[Betty Watts @LNogacheva]

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

[Kelly Mills @AlmyashevagE1]

Bitch please, your vagina has more users than Facebook.

[Lonnie Hammond @ManizhaZamesova]

Trying to act natural around cops, even when you did nothing wrong.

[Karen Castro @87Papach]

Isn't funny how Red, White, and Blue represent freedom.... Until they're flashing behind you

[Jeanne Schiro @RudalevCool]

I hope someday chickens will be able to cross the road without their motives being called into question.

[Sherri Rodriguez @79_petrik]

I always test psychics with a knock knock joke. If they say "Who's there?" I get up and leave.

[Karen Castro @87Papach]

If you hurt my best friend, I will make your death look like an accident.

[Karen Castro @87Papach]

I hate the nerds that cover up their answers... Like come on, let's work together bro.

[Karen Castro @87Papach]

He who falls in love in bars doesn't need a woman all his own. He can always find one on loan.