Anne Hood

Never give up on something you can't go a day without thinking about.

[Gina Brown @1fPsverdlikova]

Facebook would be a lot more interesting if it would let you decide which part of the body you would like to poke.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Scientists have found that putting the phrase "Scientists have found" in front of something will make people read it.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

My parents accused me of being a liar. I looked them straight in the eye and said, "Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause..." & walked away like a boss.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

There's a good chance you don't like me. However, there's even a better chance that I don't give a fuck.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Adele... why dont you just set fire to my school instead?

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

I will never forgive Steve Jobs for leaving this world before making it possible to download pizza.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Back in elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else was your bitch.

[Emily Tober @LadyKolyasina]

1-800-CHOKE-A-HOE

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

If you have a stupid ass ex, retweet this with your middle finger.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

So I'm told if you post a secret on your Google Plus page or Second page on the Google Search...it's still a secret.

[Josefina Hammond @saychulin]

Our generation doesn't ring the doorbell. They text or call to say they're outside.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Listening to someone tell a story and thinking: Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

[Eileen Kinlaw @etudyxRina]

Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Math problems: "Jane bought 72 sofas." BITCH, who the hell would buy 72 sofas?

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Car sickness is that feeling you get every month when the payment is due.

[Anne Hood @97_arkhip]

Everytime I think I've hit the bottom, someone lends me a shovel.

[Kathleen Miller @lzmaev]

Some of your best memories will come from your dumbest decisions.