Mildred Gossage

Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

Adele... why dont you just set fire to my school instead?

[Vicky Billingsley @chalkov_volodya]

Dammit, this spermicide didn't work at all. My kids are still here and now they won't stop whining about their eyes burning.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

"I need a boyfriend" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty.

[Rosario Williams @Ayslu75]

Mosquitoes should suck fat instead of blood.

[Alma Taylor @avreliankundik1]

I don't have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

You don't know something? Google it. You don't know someone? Facebook it. You don't find something? MOM!

[Marth Jacks @L6Ezhinskaya84]

"Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch." - Orson Welles

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

Nobody wants to be with somebody that's been with everybody.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

You're 9 and you have a phone? ... Who do you call? Dora?

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

I don't care if it's 5am. I don't consider it "tomorrow" until I wake up.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

You a BROKE bitch & ya friends broke too , yall share clothes , underwear & probably DICK TOO !

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

If he asks what sort of books you like, tell him checkbooks.

[Beth Davis @5Gkosminova]

You can't keep f**king with other people's feelings just because you're unsure of yours.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

I hate when people borrow money from you then get mad at you cause you want your money back.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

Why are people from other schools so hot? -_ -

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

I want my tombstone to say "Don't just stand there, water my flowers."

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tire.

[Lauren Venegas @LogishShafeyka]

It's weird how some people are so loud on Twitter, but so quiet in real life.

[Mildred Gossage @97_rzaev]

I just woke up 5 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. What kind of Inception bullshit is this?

[Karen Lunsford @1973Chepel]

Multi-tasking : Screwing up several things at once