Christine Mata

When you really care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours.

[Marion Morgan @poliektlakhtik1]

I dropped my laptop off a boat the other day. It's a Dell, rolling in the deep.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

Eating popcorn: 90% during the trailers. 10% during the movie.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

You can't control your emotions but you can control your actions, so always think before you act.

[Kimberli Bilderback @grinyagina82]

"Here, I think this clip from the movie Alien will give you an idea."

[Evelyn Tenney @davyd_96]

Most accidents are caused by people who drive in 1st gear while their minds are in neutral.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

1-800-CHOKE-DAT-HOE

[Sherry Jensen @nellaantsipero1]

Panic attack: when you don't feel your phone in your pocket

[Linda Gonzalez @NasimaVrazha]

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

A bike cannot stand up on its own simply because it's "too tired" ?.

[Maria Wrobel @trikhunkov]

Ghetto word of the day: "Omelet" : I should slap the fuck outta your ass, but omelet the shit slide this time..

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

"I need a boyfriend" No, you WANT a boyfriend. You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

That awkward moment when a package says "Easy open" & you end up using scissors, knife, hammer and a gun trying to open it.

[Elizabeth Gallardo @inaidaermolovi1]

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? ... Myspace: Where did everybody go?

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

Internet Explorer is the best browser for downloading another browser.

[Marth Jacks @L6Ezhinskaya84]

Every phone should have the same charger.

[Andrea Phelan @bazalevich78]

I hope you choke on the lies you tell; but then again.. Its kind of hard to swallow that much bullsh*t.

[Judith Rosario @1976Spiryakova]

Everyone has one friend that they secretly hate.

[Kathleen Haugland @kurza91]

If people could read my mind, I'd probably owe them a cigarette.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

Rumors are carried by haters, spreaded by fools, and accepted by idiots.

[Christine Mata @tyulgin]

I used to like my neighbors. Until they put a PASSWORD ON THEIR WI -FI..