Lucy Pate

Honestly, I don't have time to hate people who hate me cause I'm too busy loving people who love me.

[Betty Watts @rraudina1]

My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" She just texted me "Your grandmother just died. LOL."

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

The only "B" word you should call a girl is beautiful, bitches love being called beautiful.

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

He never forgets his wife's birthday. It's the day the ambulance usually picks him up from work.

[Rebecca Doyle @kalanta95]

That awkward moment when someone asks "what's wrong" and they're the problem.

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

The Energizer Bunny got arrested. He was charged with battery.

[Maria Morton @StrongTurutin]

Never regret any of the shit you've done, Because in the end it's what makes you who you are.

[Karen Lunsford @1973Chepel]

The awkward moment when your parents don't appreciate the hilarious child they have been blessed with.

[Donna Morgan @Fkolesnov3]

There's a difference between... "okay" "okay?" "okay..." "okayy" and.. "K."

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

A bike cannot stand up on its own simply because it's "too tired" ?.

[Veronica Diggs @galyamanu]

Dear sneeze, If you're gonna happen, Happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave.

[William Sotelo @Britenkov731p]

Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.

[Iola Rittenhouse @PotorakVip]

No... I'm not drunk.. Floors need hugs too.

[Laura Hooley @fnigiyan]

Listening to someone tell a story and thinking: Lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie.

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

Teacher: If you have 10 chocolate bars and someone asks for 4, how many do you have left? Me: 10

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

It's sad when dudes cheat on their beautiful girlfriends with baby monkeys, hamsters, guppies, turtles, and every zoo animal you can name.

[Vicky Robinson @FlaviyKotko]

1-800-CHOKE-DAT-HOE

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

They should definitely have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.

[Gitusmita Lahkar @GitusmitaLahkar]

Relationships last longer when everybody doesn't know your business.

[Lucy Pate @sfedotiy]

"What's a c-section?"

[Rosario Williams @Ayslu75]

If anything is used to its full potential, it will break.